Betchocracy 2016: Shit Gets Real | Betches

Betchocracy 2016: Shit Gets Real

By 50 Shades Of Betch


In the past week, both parties had their caucus in Nevada, and the Republicans voted in South Carolina. More on that in a minute, but the really important thing is that Super Tuesday is next week. That’s basically the point of no return for the primaries, because there are so many delegates up for grabs.

POOR JEB

This week, Jeb put an end to what was a pretty sad campaign from start to finish. Once seen as the obvious front-runner for the Republican nomination, his campaign never really gained traction, and his efforts in recent weeks have been downright pathetic. Sorry Jeb, but Bush 3.0 just wasn’t meant to be.

THIS COULD BE QUICK

Republican front-runner Donald Trump won the South Carolina primary by 10 points, then won in Nevada by more than 20. Lots of people are still in denial that he might actually be the nominee, but if he keeps winning like this, there won’t be any way to stop him. Lots of people are focusing on Marco Rubio as the logical alternative, but at this point he doesn’t have much time to make up ground. Super Tuesday should show whether Marco can actually compete.

BERNIE’S UPHILL BATTLE

Hillary won last Saturday’s Nevada caucus by about five points, which is close—but if Bernie wants to get the nomination, he needs to win states, not lose close contests. This will be difficult on Super Tuesday, when many southern states vote. Hillary is expected to do well in those states, especially with the large numbers of black voters. The race is still very close, but again, Super Tuesday will be very important.

MARCO UNCHAINED

 

The Republicans debated for the billionth time on Thursday night, and Marco Rubio basically spent the whole night shitting on Donald Trump. This was his last real chance to make progress before Super Tuesday, so he was desperate to make Donald look unsettled. It kinda worked, but we’ll have to wait to see if that translates to some actual votes.

BOOK YOUR TICKET

On The View this week, cohost Raven-Symoné promised that she will leave the country if a Republican gets “nominated” for President this year. Joke’s on her, because it’s literally a 100% certainty that a Republican will get nominated. What she really meant is that she’ll leave if a Republican wins, which is a feeling that lots of us probably share in. For her sake, let’s hope Raven is reading this.
 

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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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