September 30, 2014
Emma Watson is our betch of the week, because fucking duh. Obvi we all know her from being the betchy little witch Hermione in Harry Potter and she’s been fucking flawless ever since she was like 15. The years before that she had some pretty rough frizzy hair going on, so we’re counting after that.
Since then, Emma has been doing some real good shit. And by real good shit, I don’t mean that in the way you describe quality weed - that’s some good shit right here - I mean actually good things for, like, the world. She attended Brown University and her graduation was talked about more than Rupert Grint’s whole career. She’s doing modeling and acting, starring in betchy movies including “The Bling Ring” and was reported as worth 60 million dollars. This past year she also openly stood up against an old sexist Turkish dude who said women shouldn’t laugh in public, cause fuck that guy. With the exception of catching the golden snitch, she’s pretty much done it all.
As of recently, Watson became a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador, where she basically establishes the rules of feminism. She came in and was like, what is this? A feminist program for ants? It needs to be at least 3 times bigger. From there, she’s been kicking off this campaign called “HeForShe”, which basically asks men to stand up for women all over the world who are unfairly treated. Last week she gave a kick ass speech about the whole campaign to UN leaders who were all holding in the urge to yell “10 points to Gryffindor!”
After the speech, there was a bunch of threats to show Watson’s chamber of secrets in a nude photo leak, which were revealed to be a hoax. And let's be real, Emma Watson probs doesn’t have any nude photos to share anyways, because she has like dolphins to save and orphans to feed. She’s got worldly shit to do, goddammit.