Empanadas, Olé!

By Betchy Crocker


Ugh, it’s Monday again. To us, this means nursing our hangovers from this weekend and from watching Ricky Gervais completely destroy most of Hollywood last night. Jazz snaps for Ricky. Although this start to the week dictates our inability to do anything but whine and sleep, we’re making empanadas from scratch. Why? Because if we make these bitches today, we can freeze them for future hungover Mondays.

Ingredients (the dough):


4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting

2 tsps baking powder

2 tsps salt

½ cup (1 stick) cold butter, cut into small pieces

1 cup cold water

1 large egg, beaten with about 1 tbsp of water (don’t beat until you’re ready to fucking bake)

In a bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Then, using your fingers, cut in the butter until the whole mixture is like crumbly sand. Add juuuust enough cold water so the dough comes together. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead a bit – the way you learned in your ceramics class. Form the dough into a ball, wrap in plastic, and chill for like an hour. While you’re waiting on that you should probs make the filling.



2 lbs ground beef

2 onions, finely chopped

2 jalapenos, minced

1 tsp ancho chili powder

1 tsp cumin

2 14.5 oz. cans diced tomatoes

Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 400F. Grab a big skillet and cook the meat until it’s not pink. Add the onion and jalapenos and cook till soft – like 5 minutes. Stir in the spices and tomatoes and cook for 15 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

Grab the dough out of the fridge and roll it out until it’s like ¼ inch thick. Cut out roughly 4-inch circles (you don’t need to measure – you just want all of your empanadas to be the same size so they cook at the same rate). Use like 1-2 tbsps of filling for each dough circle (put it in the center), then fold the circle in half. Pinch and fold the edges to seal them (I mean, you know what a fucking empanada looks like) and place the formed empanadas on a greased baking sheet.

Once all the empanadas are formed, prepare that egg wash we talked about. Brush each empanada with a bit of that shit and then bake for like 20-30 minutes or until the empanadas and golden brown.

YAY. Also, you can freeze these – just wrap tightly in plastic wrap – for like three months. So, next time you have a hankering for frozen burritos, just pop one of these in the oven instead.




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