I’ve said it before: holiday engagements are tacky.
#1: People who get engaged on Valentine’s Day don’t need prenups. She can keep the Jared ring and he can keep his Xbox.— GSElevator (@GSElevator) February 14, 2016
That is why now is the time to brace yourself for engagement season.
You’ve probably already noticed the onslaught of Facebook randos flaunting their disappointingly small rocks with cliché phrases like “Looking forward to forever!” and “He liked it so he put a ring on it!” Not only are most of these posts gag-worthy, they kind of make me not want to get engaged because everyone basic and tacky is doing it. (Like, OK, I still want to get engaged but not in a way that makes people click the unfollow button.)
I get it. Now is the perfect time to get engaged. You give yourself a good year’s time to be engaged while planning your summer wedding for 2017. You avoid the “how well do you even know each other?” question by pointing to the fact that you have a decently long engagement. This way, people will realize you’re not being an idiot about it and also not a Mormon.
But how do you deal with all this bling-flashing on socials when you’re not getting engaged yourself?
Fake it til you make it, kids, especially if one of your friends gets engaged. You’re basically required to like their photos and comment “Congrats! So happy for you!” followed by no less than three engagement ring emojis.
Now is not the time to say “I better be a bridesmaid!!!” because that’s pandering and pathetic and this isn’t about you, Kate.
Let the golden rule apply. Say congrats then move on with your day.
If you screenshot some posts to make fun of the fugly ring or how messed up their future children are going to look with your other friends, well, that’s just to be expected, right? Just don’t be surprised when your friends do the same to you when someone finally decides to wife your bitter self.
You just better hope your future fiancé is a totally hot pro who springs for that second or third carat.