August 9, 2015
Most of the time when a betch gets her period it's a pleasant reminder that she is not in fact pregnant. Other than that, it's an excuse to eat chocolate, wear leggings, and be a total bitch to everyone. Cher Horowitz taught us at a young age that having to haul ass to the ladies because you're riding the Crimson Wave is a great excuse. But this weekend, it was like the Care and Keeping of You book came to life, everybody was talking about periods.
It all started when the betchiest presidential candidate since John F Kennedy, Donald Trump, may or may not have suggested that Megyn Kelly (the betchy blonde queen of Fox News) had her period because she was so mean to him during the Republican Debate (the reason for your Thursday night blackout). ICYMI, Megyn asked Don why he described women as "disgusting animals."
So Donald was asked about Megyn in an interview and decided for some reason to say that she had "blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever." He later tried to clarify on Twitter that he meant nose. People are assuming he meant that Megyn had to have had her period because that's the only reason she would've been so aggressive towards Donald Trump (read: have done her job as a journalist.) Tbh, Donald sounds like most men under 25 whose wives haven't made them buy tampons yet.
Pan to the London Marathon where a girl ran it while free bleeding. This girl Kiran didn't want to run the marathon with a tampon in, which I guess I can understand because I don't want to run a marathon at all regardless of the tampon part. She also decided to do it to start a conversation about periods and how women are "period shamed." Kiran has since gone viral for her free-bleed, so it definitely worked.
So basically, if you've been on the Internet in the last couple of days, you've seen/read/heard/watched somebody talk about periods. We'll see how long this lasts, but if this means that I don't have to walk to the back of CVS to buy tampons anymore, then I'm very excited.