May 18, 2015
The Billboard Music Awards were last night and much like the thousands of proms happening this weekend, there was a lot of hype, hairspray, and sexual tension that included a few good performances. Since you were probs busy watching About Bruce on E! or doing literally anything else, here's everything you missed at the BBMs last night:
Balmain is collaborating with H&M for a new clothing line. Yes, anybody with an Instagram has been lusting after the Balmain Army for the past two years, but I doubt that a $4,000 blazer is going to translate well to being mass produced and placed next to non-ironically sold converse.
Kendall and Kylie Jenner introduced Kanye West's performance, and all three of them were boo-ed so heavily people thought they were at the 2008 VMAs. Kendall managed to read the teleprompter correctly this year, so her reading tutor will definitely be getting a raise.
Chris Brown brought his daughter - lol - to the show. The child's name is Royalty, which is funny because once upon a time, before his fall from grace her father was consider musical royalty. She wore a tutu and Timberlands, which North West thought was so 2012. But Royalty Brown has the best resting bitch face of the under 2 year old crowd, so I expect great things from her.
One Direction won an award, because it had been awhile and Simon Cowell was getting restless. They dedicated it to "our brother Zayn," which made every teenage girl's ovaries explode. Nothing says family like leaving the group so the other members get a larger portion of the profits.
Taylor Swift premiered her music video for Bad Blood, which was like a celebrity mash-up version of Mission Impossible. Sure, everybody and their mother was in the video, but she didn't stand on a horse or wear Oscar de la Renta, so her Blank Space video was way way better. She also revealed that she's dating Calvin Harris, fucking duh. They were each other's dates and wore complimentary black and white, how groundbreaking. After Taylor won pretty much every award, they engaged in the world's most awkward hug. It was like a middle school couple greeting each other at the 7th grade semi-formal while her parents watched. But I'm into Taylor and Calvin, mostly because I really want a remix of Shake It Off.