Exercise Reverses The Havoc Alcohol Wreaks On Your Body, Fuck

By Lisa Vanderbetch

Exercising sucks. Sure, I’ll pretend to love barre or SoulCycle for like, a month or so, but I know in my heart of hearts that I actually really fucking hate it. I have to leave my bed and do physical activity and sweat with other people watching—it’s my own personal hell tbh. But we’re all gonna have to suck it up now because a new study shows that working out can reverse the negative effects of extreme alcohol use aka the weekend. And not just booze bloat and feeling like shit the next day, but longterm health problems like increased risk of cancer and liver issues. Damn it, that sounds serious.

kanye smile

The study says that 150 minutes (so like, 2.5 hours if you’re like me and don’t speak in minutes) of exercise a week cancels out the shit alcohol does to your body to where it’s pretty much like it never happened. Well fuck. Now I have to work out. When it was just about being thin and not feeling guilty about the Papa John’s and/or Chipotle from the day before, I could convince myself that I was being superficial and that finishing Stranger Things was WAY more important than hitting the gym. But now that my fucking life is on the line? I guess I’ll reboot my Class Pass membership.

can't i just do nothing




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