A Strongly Worded Letter To Exes That Slut Shame | Betches

A Strongly Worded Letter To Exes That Slut Shame

By Blackout Betch

Dear Ultimate Fuck Boy,


Your maturity level might be lower than a kindergartener’s yet your dad body rivals that of a 60-year old guy who considers golf to be a workout. This really makes me wonder why you think it’s okay to slut shame me when you should have more shame about your physical appearance (plastic surgery is an option you know) than I could ever have about my sexual history.

There’s so much shit out there about batshit crazy girls who can’t move on and continue to pine after their exes. We know just how bad these delusional daters can get because everywhere we look they’re being made fun of. The psycho losers who don’t get enough attention? Well, you’re one of them.

You can be spotted from a mile away even after I’ve taken way too many tequila shots and can barely see my own hands in front of me. You scream insecurity and daddy issues more than the girl who got a nose job in middle school and has a thing for guys with tattoos.

Really the only thing you have going for you is your “humor.” I’ll say humor lightly because we both know Putin on his worst day can be funnier than you on your best.

You try to make up for your inability to know what the fuck you’re doing in bed (and probably in life TBH – pizza deliveries after age 20 becomes kind of creepy and tells people you’ll most likely end up a pedophile) by slut shaming girls who want nothing to do with you anymore. This is probably worse than any delusional dater I’ve come across – it’s 2015 if you think you’re better because you’re a guy chances are you aren’t get laid.

Everyone knows betches love not having sex with bros, but even if we didn’t, I would strongly encourage you find a hobby or maybe realize you graduated high school already instead of slut shaming an ex. There are many great ways to show you have moved on, but blatantly showing how much you still care is not one of them. You’re probably listening to Taylor Swift’s best breakup songs to get through the pain. Maybe try Drake?

You could try therapy, but you’re probably too far-gone for that. So to get through another day, try reading some inspirational quotes, taking a nice, long bubble bath, and calling your mom. She’s probably the only girl in your life who will ever want to be associated with you anyway.

I’ll be here – laughing at how much of a loser you’ve become while I blackout every weekend with my besties and marry rich…while running the world in my spare time.

See ya never,

Your “slutty” ex girlfriend




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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