June 26, 2014
Free People, the world’s most expensive homeless chic clothing line, came out with a new accessory that is going to be all the rage this season. And we’re totally fucking kidding when we say that. No, but seriously, they recently released a new set of Clip-On, Tye-Dye Dreadlocks for this summer. They come in two different colors: shit brown and a blue color that will match your shot of UV Blue. If that’s not the most brilliant, not trashy thing you have ever heard, just wait until you hear the affordable price. A pack of ten of these fugly colored rat tails is only $128! What a bargain.
TBH I have no words to describe how beyond stupid these are. Dreadlocks only work when you’re like Bob Marley, or a fucking avatar. Why anyone would pay actual money to look like a pirate from the Caribbean is so troubling to me. Free People used to be something betches would be happy to wear-something Mary-Kate Olsen in her weird grunge days inspired us to purchase. But whoever told Free People was homeless is the new festival-cute is seriously disturbed.
In closing, if one of my friends fucking showed up with these things in her hair, I think I would start crying for her sake. Then again, I don’t keep hippie try-hards in my circle, so I guess I really wouldn’t have that problem, now would I? “Stop trying to make dreadlocks happen, it’s not gonna happen!”