Everyone loves a good #squadgoals post on Instagram. I mean, not, like, real #squadgoals posts -- I don’t give a shit what you and your fuggo friends are up to. I mean funny ones, where it’s like a picture of a bunch of puppies or ducklings or something, and everyone has a good laugh and moves on. But for some people, squadding is serious business. Take Gigi Hadid, for example, someone who I’m sure is famous for a reason and also happens to be part of Taylor Swift’s squad, which is like the gold standard of squads. For Gigi and Taytay, theirs is more than a squad. It’s about… empowerment, or some shit? I dunno, this is what she told Elle Canada:
“We want to be the generation and the group of friends known for supporting each other. ‘Squad Goals’ is a big social-media thing right now, and that’s what we want to inspire in other groups of friends—to be proud of the power you all have when you’re together, which can be amplified so much by each person. That’s what has been cool about everyone’s willingness to be there for each other, and we don’t want to be like other generations who are infamous for their cattiness. That was cool and it worked for them and they were great. We just want to be the new generation.”
That doesn’t make any sense, but then again Gigi Hadid reads at what I assume is a 7th grade level. I also don’t think she’s ever had, like, an actual friend. What she’s describing isn’t some fucking revolutionary thing, that’s just how friends treat each other. Being TSwift’s personal butthole waxer in exchange for having her tell you you’re pretty and occasionally use you as a prop during her concerts isn’t a generational paradigm shift in friendship -- it just seems that way to someone who thought Mean Girls was a documentary.
Everyone take a moment today to thank Taylor Swift, master of karate and friendship for everyone.