Girl Scout Cookies Sales Are Going Digital

By DrunkEyesFullHeart



While in true Betch fashion it is frowned upon to be overly-excited about food (especially fattening food), this rule will absolutely never apply to the one thing every American can agree on going crazy for - Girl Scout Cookies. I don’t care if you’re six or sixty, a hippie or a CEO, every warm blooded creature in the U-S of A has a sick obsession with Girl Scout Cookies.

Samoas, Tagalongs, and Thin Mints *oh my* will now be gracing our lives more than three months out of the year. Yes, our favorite cookies will now be sold online. What used to be limited to local kids harassing you outside Stop and Shop will now be available at the click of the mouse, and delivered directly to your door. Little Sally has upgraded from using a wagon to carry cookies around the neighborhood to developing client lists, emailing prospective customers, and tracking her sales on a mobile app.

Eight year old girls may still think boys have cooties, but they’re about to be better entrepreneurs than half of business executives. Soon these girls will be handing in their sashes full of badges for LinkedIn endorsements. We all saw how great Girl Scout cookie sales did in the state of Colorado after marijuana was legalized. Imagine the potential to reach stoners in their natural habitat - the living room couch. As the winter months approach and betches begin to hibernate, don’t feel guilty about eating that extra sleeve of Thin Mints. The profits are going to a great cause, and we wear leggings 75% of the time anyway. I only have two questions: Why the fuck has this taken so long!? And can we please re-do Cyber Monday to include this digital dream.




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