WTF: Girls Are Trying To Become Boy Scouts

By Blackout Betch

A bunch of girls in Northern California are trying to start a social revolution and become Boy Scouts. They say they would rather be camping and tying knots than selling cookies. How about none of the above?

When betches were younger, they were not Girl Scouts. Being a Girl Scout is the epitome of being a nice girl. You tell other girls how much you love them, you bake shit, and you smile and wear pigtails.

In our early days of betchiness those were simply not things we did. We learned how to best abuse our dad’s credit card. We discovered the joys of mani pedis. We might have even taken a swig of our older cousin’s Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

Forget selling Thin Mints. Nobody had the time for that shit. Eat a sleeve of those cookies and you are anything but thin. No one liked the chubby girls in fourth grade.

While being a Girl Scout is probably the most nicegirl thing you could do as a middle schooler, these girls who are getting everyone riled up should be able to do whatever the fuck they want and be a Boy Scout, too.

Just like we are free to shop and drink excessively, these girls should be allowed to tie some knots and camp out in the woods.

Some parents say they are freaked out by the possibility that girls, who already are smarter than boys, could take over all the leadership positions. Well fucking duh, they would. Every girl who can remember the sweet memories of sixth grade boys are dumb as fuck. They still pick their nose and only shower once a week.

TBH, even in our 20s we still know some losers who act like this.

Telling a girl she can’t be a Boy Scout because she can’t hike through the woods as fast as a boy is like telling a betch she can’t drink as many tequila shots as the bro sitting next to her. Inequality is wrong – especially when it involves tequila. There’s just no room for that shit.

If anything, what these girls are doing is atypical for your average nice girl whose very essence is that of a doormat. They’re standing up for what they want and throwing a bitch fit because there are people standing in their way.

Sounds pretty betchy to me.

The only catch is that this group refers to themselves as The Unicorns, which, like, WTF?

Name change is necessary ASAP.




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