Girls Recap: Alcoholics, Animal Sex, and Ass Splinters, Oh My | Betches

Girls Recap: Alcoholics, Animal Sex, and Ass Splinters, Oh My

By The Betches

I honestly can't hide how thrilled I am that this season is ending next week because I'm so sick of talking the same shit about the same things that have bothered me since the pilot: the writing is great and I wish Lena Dunham would report those compliments to her ass. After taking her OCD into account it seems to me like she will likely have six more seasons of this show to meet the magic number 8.


So last night felt like I was watching a series of circumstances that were fully designed to make me as uncomfortable as possible. The last time I remember feeling that way while watching something it was A Nightmare on Elm Street in 4th grade and luckily that was just about nightmares. But the bagel Shoshanna wore on top of her head last night, that shit was real.

The Indian doctor was the best part of the episode and turned out to be the funniest medical professional since Mindy Kaling. When can he replace Hannah as the main character?

Hannah: The Q-tip is still in
Doctor: I'm not blind my dear

Hannah: Can I keep the Q-tip?
Doctor: I suggest you frame it

Marnie, on the other hand, needs to stop showing up at Charlie's place of employment because I'm experiencing so much secondhand embarrassment it hurts. Does she have no pride? Stalking down your ex for lunch? What do you mean, we had CONCRETE LUNCH PLANS. How far the mighty have fallen. But more importantly, Marnie would never know more than the chorus of a Kanye West song.

But by far the worst part of this ep was the final sex scene. I didn't sign up to recap rape porn. That scene was so disturbing it made me forget about my extreme discomfort over Marnie just a minute before. Sooo thanks for that.

Quotes of the Night

"I didn't finish them not because I didn't have time but because I didn't want to." - Hannah's ebook publisher

"I can't wait to not read those" - Hannah's ebook publisher

"I've been known to dabble in the Macintosh arts" - Ray

"Restaurants, I guess are just my passion. Going out to dinner is like part of who I am. "- Some bro Shosh was talking to... We know people who would actually say this. 

"I held a doorman's hand" -Shoshanna 




hand_icon

LET IT OUT, HONEY

small_arrow

Powered by Spot.IM

Forgot Your Password?

Create new account

User login