Girls Recap: All Dogs Go to Brooklyn

By The Betches

Last night's episode of Girls was such a random assortment of scenes and stories that made me think of what I might word-vomit from excessive adderall at like 5am, if and when I was in such a miserable world where I had a deadline at 6. Perhaps that's what Hannah's token vom in the opening scene was meant to symbolize, but one can only speculate. What I do know is there was definitely something off about the episode, and by something I mean everything but Hannah's clothes, for which I was very grateful.

Upon a second viewing the ep was evidently about three mostly unrelated things. First was Hannah's e-book deal. Hannah's supposed to be writing this so-called e-book in one month but she seems to have a lot of time to fuck around and shoot the shit while analyzing Little Women. Kind of like what we did when we wrote our book except the discussion was of Mean Girls like all sane people who read sparknotes in high school and own TVs.

Next was the Adam-Ray-Dog love triangle. This whole dog story was just so strange and the exact opposite of anything that would happen to any guys I know. JK I can think of ONE guy I know from college who would do this and he was known for raping freshmen. Seriously Girls, we know it worked for The Artist, but you can't just hire a dog to distract everyone from your randomness and expect an Oscar.

Then there was Marnie's delusional party where she played hostess and wore a dress from the first moon landing. Apparently when super-douche Booth Jonathan asked her to 'host' she was thinking 'first lady' while he was thinking more along the lines of hot glorified doorman. The most accurate thing about the Shoshannah-Marnie talk is how they were both simultaneously talking about themselves and pretending to give a shit about what the other is saying. On another note, Booth Jonathan is Aleksandr Petrovsky.

Call Outs & LOL Moments

"My boyfriend is doing lights for Carly Rae Jepsen...and I should be on the bus with him... sooo I'm gonna go do that now." The whole firing of Soojin for eating the rose water ice cream was a perfect metaphor for this episode in that it came out of the clear blue sky and had good insults.

I actually wanted to read the article "12 fruits that will make you fat"

"I had to spend the night with a fucking yoga teacher!" - Adam on jail time

"It's a dog. His name is dog."

Ray: I feel like we understand each other. Maybe it's because we're both honest.
Adam: Maybe it's because we're both kind of weird looking.

...Great point. But more importantly this conversation left us wondering what kind of hot 54 year old who exercises compulsively would be DTF Adam.

"You guys have only been together for like a week how is that possible aren't you 40?"

"Coy? Is that your first time using that word?"

Last week's recap>>




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