Girls Recap: Creeps and Cocaine

By The Betches

Being a narcotic-centric episode we totally thought this one had a ton of potential. Unfortunately Girls fell victim to our biggest pet peeve on television which is when the characters do drugs and then act like they're on acid regardless of what they're actually on. But hey, at least I know I can get drugs by the mailboxes, lesson learned.

So Hannah uses "soulful exploration" and "freelance writing" as excuses to do coke and have a normal fun night minus that outfit. Seriously, your boss instructs you to do a whole bunch of coke and then write about it for 200 dollars. Where can I apply for THAT job? I mean like aside from my very own website.

Anyway this whole, my junkie neighbor gets me high and then follows me around Brooklyn plotline was completely fucking ridiculous. As well as the way everyone was acting like coke is shrooms or LSD. People on coke don't massage each other's shoulders and write on their walls. They do that when they're drunk AND on coke. It also lasts 15 minutes not 2 hours and when the toilets in the club are that gross, key bumps are the sanitary choice, like hello? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Especially ridiculous was the part where Marnie has a blackberry. Brooklyn, might as well be the andromeda galaxy.


Call Outs and LOL Moments

Laird, what kind of fucking name is that.

Lena Dunham will find any excuse to take her clothes off.

So Marnie/Maddy just leaves in the middle of her new job to go have sex with the very same artist which she left her old job so she could go finger herself. Talk about long game, Booth Jonathan.

Booth Jonathan's "art" isn't art, it was the chokey broadcasting the True Blood opening credits. So, all he did was build a like really miniature Best Buy. Maximum occupancy: 1

Of course when Hannah's coked out she's still thinking about tasting cakes. The only known case of a person wanting to eat on this drug.

They wouldn't have allowed Lena into a club wearing that shirt, or ever.

Andrew Andrew, what was that inspired by like mahi mahi...bora bora?

Hannah's whole rant to Marnie/Elijah was really long but good. Sorry but coked out people are never that poignant. And you ruined my relationship with cocaine, which could've been my favorite drug!

Quotes of the Night

"The reason I haven't done coke before is because I have weird nasal passages."

"I'm just trying to come up with a new wifi network name and it's just hard to come up with something because yours is so good"

"Let's see, how do I articulate this properly? I need some cocaine...It's for me to snort for work"

Elijah: Leave your fucking mark Hannah
Hannah: ...In urine?

Booth: Look at the doll, look at her, describe her, how's she feeling
Marnie: She feels...sassy
Booth: No! She's sad.

Elijah: When did you eat jerky?
Hannah: That is not a concern of yours.

Hannah (to Marnie): I don't even care, we can keep being friends just as long as you know you're a bad one!
Elijah (to Marnie): Do you want some coke?
Marnie: I'm gonna throw up.
Elijah: Well, I am GLAD this is all out in the open.

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