Girls Recap: Hurricane Sandy is a Black Republican

By The Betches

January 21, 2013

Last night's episode had some of the best dialogue of the series but more importantly, the best breakups I've ever seen. YOUR rights happened, and YOUR rights happened. So now everyone's all miserable except for Shoshanna and Jessa who we can expect to remain in their respective honeymoon stages for at least one or two more eps. Shosh in bed with Ray was a great portrayal of how lovey dovey people are in the beginning of a relationship, like smiling so hard while the other talks about bathing pigs…I think you'd be amazing at bathing a pig!

I happen to really love that they're showing the full range of Elijah's personality and Adam's psychoses, and the choice of the most popular name '12 for Hannah's black boyfriend Sandy was possibly a stroke of clairvoyance. A black republican with a girl's name dating a fully tattooed hipster...aka a walking contradiction. God Hannah, the bro just wants to be judged by the content of his character.

Call Outs & LOL Moments

Elijah, you never had sex with Marnie. To call it 'just the tip' would be generous. And either way, why would you loudly argue with your boyfriend in your room and exclaim that you're "definitely not telling Hannah" when she's like 5 feet away in the next room, still dancing on her own.

However I love how Elijah changes the subject about him having sex with Marnie by bringing up Hannah's favorite topic: "herself and her own relationship issues."

Adam's song/video reminds me of Adam Sandler's in the Wedding Singer: "And when I think of you Linda Lena, I hope you fuck-ing choke…. Kill me please I'm on my knees pretty pretty please I want to die stick a bullet in my heeee--ehhh--ehh--ed"

Both receiving surprise pets from their significant others, Jessa and Kim Kardashian experienced the same plot lines last night. Welcome to the cast, Garbage, Fucker, and Hanukkah.

The conversation between Hannah and Jessa was the most condescending thing I've ever seen. "Just read the newspaper. Just read ONE newspaper...Thomas John looks at my paintings the moment I show them to him. If he's not reading your essays he's not reading you." Of course he looks at your paintings. All he has to do is look. The only obstacle would be blindness.

Quotes of the Night

"People are different. Like you were with George for a very long time and he's still on hotmail." Best line of the show. People on hotmail are weird.

Marnie: I really don't want to be around anyone who doesn't hate life right now.
Shosh: I like really hate how disorganized my sweatshirt drawer is.

"Denise hi it's Shosh how are you I'm amazing."

"So you don't think I'm pretty enough for a pretty person job? I mean, an entire range of men like men, republicans, et al. It was my choice not to cash in on my sexuality." Come on, you're eating Cool Whip out of the box. This is a girl who threatened to sue her boss for sexual harassment when he refused to fuck her.

"So even after all this time you've spent with my gay roommate and his beautiful boyfriend, you don't believe that my roommate deserves a beautiful wedding like the one we saw yesterday on Say Yes to the Dress?"

"I don't see color. I don't know who Missy Elliot is. I never thought about the fact that you were black once. I don't live in a world where there are divisions like that." Hmm I guess being hipster does not give you immunity against sounding racist. Noted.

This is space rape!!

Adam: When you used to show up at my apartment in knee socks?
Hannah: That was ONE TIME!!

Last week's recap>>







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