NYC is a Warm Winter Wonderland Thanks to Global Warming

By Say Yes To The Betch

If you’ve ever been to New York around the holidays, or if you’ve seen any of the Home Alone movies, you know what to expect. The snowy streets are filled with freezing New Yorkers all admiring the Bergdorf holiday windows and Instagramming the Rockefeller Christmas tree.

However, this year, the winter wonderland scene has changed, and it’s all thanks to local betch, global warming. This past Saturday was Santacon, the one day a year when a girl can dress up as a total Santa slut and no one can say anything about it. But as thousands of blacked out Santas puked in public trashcans and littered beer bottles into the streets, it felt like a summer day.

Over the weekend, President Obama signed a global warming pact to fix the issue, along with 200 other nations, so we’re not being over-dramatic here. Looks like we’ve littered one too many Starbucks receipts. The president said himself this pact could be a “turning point for the world,” and it’s not just because Malia is debating between NYU and Columbia.

In fact, a few years ago, Live Science published an article asking, “Will Climate Change Destroy New York City?” People back then may have thought this was some terrible plot idea for a new ABC Family series, but it looks like this shit is actually happening. So let’s revisit our favorite rooftop bars one more time while we wait for winter to actually come. We’re not complaining about the nice weather, but I guess I didn’t have to pay the extra $29.99 to overnight ship my new Vince boots. Oops.




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