May 18, 2014
For our first cleanse review, we’re taking a look at a company that’s taking over Manhattan with their organic, fresh pressed, 9 dollar juices: Organic Avenue. But I mean, any true betch knows that if your juice doesn’t cost at least as much as two iced skinny vanilla lattes it’s probably disgusting or worse, made with a standard blender. When looking at Organic Ave’s cleanse options, I decided to go with the hardest one, the “Love Deep” because fuck it, go hard or go home right? The best way to get in shape for summer is to commit so if I was going to give up solid food for three days I wasn’t going to half ass it.
Let’s take a look at some factors everyone should consider when deciding how good a cleanse is.
Organic Ave was really on their shit when it came to delivery. Each morning for three mornings, I woke up to a box of six fresh juices and a booster shot right outside my door, packaged with ice packs to keep them as cold as if they were refrigerated. Considering most other juices I’ve done have them all delivered at once, this made me feel like they were fresher since everyday there was a new shipment and they were all set to expire the next day.
They email you a guide for which juices to take at which time and in what order. They recommend you take them all between 8 am and 8 pm but you can adjust it however if you have shit to do, so most people won't be following it exactly like they recommend.
Nope. No solids for three days.
I actually really liked them. Usually when I’ve had single juices from Organic Ave, they’ve come in glass bottles which I liked a little more than the plastic bottles the cleanse juices came. I think that's because every drink just generally tastes better in glass. The juices ranged from decent to delicious but the booster shots all tasted completely disgusting. Whoever said chlorophyll, wheatgrass, and E3 Live were supposed to be ingested by humans probably grew up in a greenhouse. As bad as they were they weren't nearly as bad as the only other shots I've taken aka vodka so I guess like, doable?
Day 1 was totally fine. I wasn’t used to juicing yet and it actually felt good to not have to think about what I had to eat that day. I also took it on a Monday and was super full from the big Sunday dinner I had the night before anyway so I didn't mind not eating much. I also saw a movie that night to distract myself from eating my roommate's Chinese food.
Day 2 I started to get slightly irritable. I think this was the caffeine withdrawal and I had to take a midday nap to get through the day. I did take a yoga class in the morning so I think that helped get my mind focused on being healthy.
Day 3 I was ready to stab someone for a burger but I definitely felt more alert. I was over only drinking liquids and got really pissed when I’d walk past a food cart and smelled something amazing. What kept me going was knowing it was almost done.
Unsurprisingly their best juice was the most caloric and was the one you had to wait until the end of the day to drink. The Cashew Hemp Mylk was fucking delicious, or at least it seemed like it after only ingesting purified fruits and vegetables for three days straight. The ingredients are purified alkaline water (this seems like a fancy word for Britta), dates, cashew, hemp seed, chia seed, and Himalayan pink salt. I mean I don’t know what half that shit means but it sounds like, super paleo. It was creamy and subtle and pretty amazing for something that’s supposed to be so healthy. Seriously though I’d drink this instead of froyo. It was that good.
Also, all their tonics were really good. They tasted like ginger lemonade and had a peppery kick which was pretty invigorating. I personally love ginger at sushi places so this was pretty much the closest I could get to it on a cleanse.
The Mellow Love was all vegetables so it was obviously relatively bland but extremely good for you. No one ever expects a juice made from romaine, celery, spinach, cucumber, and parsley to be delicious so can’t really complain too much. I mean the only thing worse than eating a salad with no dressing is drinking it. The good news is it’s only 50 calories, has really low sugar, and like, all the good vitamins. Although I thought the carrot juice was going to be the worst one, it actually wasn't that bad. It was kind of like cold carrot soup.
Like 2 pounds of weight loss and my skin looked pretty amazing right after. There’s no glow quite like a post juicing glow.
I would, but not for like at least two months. It was a great way to kick start being healthy for summer but not something I felt like I immediately wanted to try again.