October 20, 2014
If you ain't talking money, Kim Kardashian doesn't want to talk. "Secret Emails" aka emails Khloe forwarded in a drunken rage emerged today detailing Kim's requirements for an appearance. Basically, she wants a million dollars and the owner's first born child to even show up. Then plane tickets, hotel rooms, transportation, airport greeter, security, daily salary, and her hair/makeup. The email also features a new drinking game: drink every time you read the word "First Class". Blackout city thanks to Kimmy.
From Kim's Instagram and KUWTK we know she travels with her personal assistant, North, North's nanny, Kris Jenner, her hair stylist, and her makeup artist. So who gets put in coach?? It can't be North's nanny because we all know she's the one fucking raising the child. Maybe it alternates between one of the other staff members (read: magicians) and Kris' timeout spot for when she misbehaves.
It costs approx $2 million to hire Kim K to do anything for your brand. So like, help her she's poor. Her net worth has to be more than the GDP of most African countries. The next Nobel prize in economics has to go to the person who figures out why the Kardashian's business strategy is so fucking successful. I don't even want to think about how much Kanye West costs.