March 2, 2015
There are all sorts of emergency situations a betch can get into on a daily basis. What if you’re out on the town running errands, like so busy and exhausted, and you need an iced coffee desperately? What if you’re at the club, it’s 1 a.m., and you’re honestly thinking you might need to go home because you’re too sober? What if, God forbid, your bestie invites you to go to Europe last minute and you need to buy your plane ticket ASAP?
Luckily, betch’s dads understand that all types of horrible shit can happen to us on the reg, because we’re young and hot and the world sometimes tries to take advantage of us. To help us cope, they issue us emergency credit cards. But only for use in absolute emergencies, of course.
Although betches love their emergency credit cards, they’re usually the source of a lot of drama. A typical SAB, if you will. On one hand, it’s a lifeline, the only piece of plastic that helps a betch stay “in budget” every month. If I just put all my rent, food, and utilities on my emergency credit card and all my alcohol and weekend trips on my own credit card, I can totes not borrow any money from my parents this month and also save up for Yacht Week!!
On the other hand, our parents sometimes use the emergency credit card as a weaning device, which has to be more traumatizing and annoying than getting off the teet ever could have been when we were infants. One year, when you’re 20, you’re not even contacted about the fact that you charged a 12-month payment plan for your Coachella ticket on your emergency credit card. Then, fast-forward three years and your father is taking the time to call you about a $10 drink charge you made at the club last weekend. Get off my back Dad, Lux is not a nightclub it’s a pharmacy you jerk!!!
So betches, appreciate your emergency credit card while it lasts, but continue to blame it if it ever pisses off your parents, because that’s totes not your fault. Plus, rest assured that it is probably not going to be taken away anytime soon, because we all remember the one time you actually needed it when you got lost in San Diego and ended up in Tijuana. Just in case, Dad, just in case.