The Betches' Guide to Lingerie

By Miss Ameribetch

Like your high school English teacher once taught you, less is more. And when it comes to looking sexy in the bedroom, less is definitely more.  Betches, we’re talking about lingerie.

Lingerie is like a well decorated party, the more money spent on the decorations the more fun you know the party will be. Gold painted acrobats swinging over ice sculptures? You know the host spared no penny on the bar.

We love lingerie because it goes beyond feeling sexy to knowing we’re fucking sexy. Ever take a naughty pic and worry about it leaking when you’re famous? Not if your parts are covered up with lingerie. Everyone knows what boobs and butts look like, but wrapped up in a playsuit from Agent Provocateur? That’s something he’ll remember for a long time.

Like a bright colored lipstick, lingerie doesn’t need to be worn often to be remembered. When you’re shopping for lingerie, you’re typically shopping for an occasion. But the reality is, the smaller the occasion, the better. Like getting drunk on a Tuesday for no reason at all, the unexpectedness of it all makes it even more fun.  Sure, birthdays and anniversaries are fun to style yourself up for, but who doesn’t love a surprise on a casual fall evening?

When it comes to lingerie, black is always in. Duh. If you’re adventurous, you might get kinky with a playsuit and chains, but just remember less is always more. You can’t go wrong with some carefully placed lace. Just avoid white unless it’s your wedding night.

The best place to shop for lingerie is hands down Agent Provocateur. If you don’t have the time, Victoria’s Secret has good basic options, but unless you’re flying out of the ceiling with an orchestra to back you up, you’ll find most of their shit a little too costume-like. We also love For Love & Lemons, especially if lace isn’t your thing.

If only we could wear this shit all the time, there would probably be less war. I mean, hate on the VS fashion show all you want, but there’s a reason it’s one of the only televised fashion shows on broadcast TV.  Whether you’re into bralettes, slips, suspenders, or corsets, nobody will be able to resist you when you put on your lingerie.





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