April 23, 2014
If there’s one thing betches are guilty of it’s stretching the truth a little bit, AKA fucking exaggerating.
Why do we exaggerate? Well, sometimes our days just aren't that exciting. Maybe it's a Sunday, or there's been nothing gossip worthy on Instagram, or you like, actually had a normal boring day at work. Even so, in times like these we still need to keep the attention focused on us, which is where exaggerating comes in. I mean, better that than being like Boring Brittany who, like, actually thinks people care about what Brad from accounting said to her at work. Shut up, Brittany. No one cares!
Let’s take a look at how betches exaggerate. We'd name every example, but that would take like literally ten years.
If you want to spot a betch exaggeration, know that it will almost always be prefaced by the word "literally," as in "I lit-er-allllyyy haven't slept in three days."
If you do not recount the time the bar got raided when you were underage by saying "There were like 10 cop cars outside!" you're probably not a fucking betch. There were maybe two, tops. Or maybe just a bike cop. Idk..whatever. It seemed really terrifying at the time. The point is that betches occasionally rack up numbers to give a story more emphasis, but if you add the word “like” in there, it’s not an actual lie.
For example, when your roommate kindly asks you if you could take your pregame else where because “It’s Wednesday” and she “has to study,” a betch’s version of that story will be much different. She literally started screaming at me. Like, what a psycho bitch!
"Becca’s such a slut, she fucked like FIVE guys when we were in Cabo." Honestly you're not really sure how many exactly, but she's being a bitch and you want to make her look bad. This number is going to change depending on who you're telling the story to. If someone calls you out for this, call them out for giving too much of a fuck.
Last but not least, if you want to add some drama into a conversation, you can casually bring up that something is “the worst,” as in, “This has been the worst day of my entire life.” In truth, it was just raining and they got your order wrong at Starbucks.
So keep on exaggerating, betches. Remember, it’s better to tell a little bit of a lie than to be the girl who told literally the most boring story ever.