Guys Are Less Likely To Use A Condom If You're Hot, Study Finds

By Jane Duh

Science has provided us with a new way to gauge your level of hotness: condoms. A new study shows that men are less likely to use a condom "if the woman they are with is attractive." The study, which surveyed 51 heterosexual men ranging from ages 18 to 69 (lol 69) showed men a series of photos of women's faces and were asked to assess how attractive each woman was, how willing they were to have sex with her, and how slutty she looks (aka "do you think she has an STI?") The study found—in a conclusion that was a surprise to exactly 0 people—that the decision to use a condom was not at all affected by the "riskiness" of the woman in question. Basically, as long as you're hot, even if you have a tattoo that says THE CLAP on your lower back, a dude is gonna try to do you raw. Very classy, gentlemen.

So, now that's one more thing to have anxiety about. Like, is this guy trying to be safe, or does he secretly think I'm hideous? And if he thinks I'm so hideous he doesn't want to risk mixing up his genes with me, why is he sleeping with me? Also, how much taxpayer money went to fund the "Guys Would Rather Not Use Condoms When Fucking Hot Girls Study," if it was any more than $1 then the American people are owed an apology.

Like, for real I've been conducting this study PRO BONO since 2008, and let me tell you, the data is not hard to find.

Also, I'll take this moment to casually remind you that the CDC reported in 2015 that STIS were on the rise for the first time in 10 years. I guess its 'cuz us ladies are so damn fine.

(But also guys seriously use condoms gonorrhea is really gross.)





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