October 8, 2014
Gwyneth and Martha are in a full on betch fight and this shit is more serious than leather in August.
Here's the low down.
Gwyn pulled a classic move and hired one of Martha's people to be the CEO of Goop. Katy Perry did the music equivalent when she hired one of Taylor Swift's back up dancers. It's the oldest trick in the book, but Martha is pretty fucking old so she should have seen this coming.
Martha, when asked about the incident, told Net-a-Porter that Gwyn needed to "be quiet". Can we get a flashback to the epic Tyra Bank's freak out monologue on America's Next Top Model? "BE QUIET TIFFANY. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU."
Gwyn replied "No one has ever said anything bad about me before, so I'm shocked and devastated. I'll try to recover." NGL, that's some pretty betchy sarcasm. (Points for Gwyn being a betch in our poll). Like, puh-lease Martha, Gwyn obvi lives for your approval so that two word dismissal was not exactly a knock out. But then, Gwyn decided to be a fourth grade nice girl and said "When anybody criticizes anyone, it really is revealing more about where they are in time and space as opposed to where you are in time and space." K, go cry to a guidance counselor and make an anti-bullying poster. Nevermind, she can't be a betch if she says dumb shit like that.
Martha has the last word for now saying that if Ms. Paltrow "were confident in her acting she wouldn't be trying to be Martha Stewart." Martha then dropped the mic and walked out of the room. Speaking of which, Gwyn's boobs won her the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love not her fake cry or "talent."
This has quickly escalated from a feud to an all out war. Pick a side betches.