April 23, 2015
After literally like a decade of conscious uncoupling, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have finally filed for divorce. No word on whether they'll still go on vacation together, but we can rest assured that Gwyneth will probably remain as annoying as ever. Now she'll probably start a dating section of Goop, just to complain about all the rich men she goes on dates with.
Tbh this has to be one of the best days of Chris Martin's life, because he's finally fucking free. Maybe he'll pull an Adele and write a whole album of breakup songs; Coldplay fans would eat that shit up. Either way, congrats to Chris on surviving the world's biggest BSCB.