Hangry: Betchy Linguistics

By The Betches

Hangry (adj): The state of being so hungry you become angry, frustrated and a huge bitch

A betch is guilty of this at least once a day. Usually we’re running late and don’t have time for breakfast. Occasionally we have to work through lunch and figure we’ll snack later. Sometimes we’ve had a long day and all we want is our calories in the liquid form of wine. Regardless of the scenario, betches are notorious for thinking “we’ll be fine” and no, no we won’t....Our hunger pangs become so overwhelming that our emotions get the best of us.

It starts slowly, when you start to hear your stomach growl. You remember you accidentally (or not so accidentally) skipped a meal, and your stomach is saying a big Fuck You. You start to become agitated, jittery, and you might even try to trick yourself by chugging water or coffee. Short term cheats my betchy friend. As the day progresses your patience becomes shorter. Everything, EVERYTHING is annoying. The guy next to you in class is typing too loud. The girl you passed on the stairs definitely gave you a glare, bitch. And the old lady at the gym is standing WAY too close to you while you do abs. It’s starting to take over.

When you do interact with the general public, it’s goodbye to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is out in full force. You get angry with people, and you convince yourself they are to blame for your hangry state. Friendships will become rocky as you snap at Karen telling a story you’re just NOT in the mood to hear. You can’t think about anything besides how hungry you are, and you think no one understands the traumatic experience you’re having at the moment. Shirts have been made to accurately depict “please forgive me for what I said while hangry.” Snickers has made millions off the idea of “Have a Snickers, you’re not yourself when you’re hungry.” Hangry is real. And it’s dangerous.

When you finally find yourself capable of eating, you’re still angry. You boyfriend is terrified of this side of you and tries to help, offering to make you a long list of meals, none of which you find worthy. You’ve gotten so hungry you don’t even want food! You’ve convinced yourself you’re actually going to die, when in reality it has most likely been approximately 5 hours. When you eventually find something worthy of eating, we are notorious for eating too much, too fast, and making ourselves sick with gluttony. So many regrets. We promise ourselves we’ll never do this to ourselves and our loved ones ever again.

Until tomorrow....




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