They're (Finally) Putting A Betch On The $20 Bill

By Queen Elizabetch

We might have to start carrying cash, because there's finally going to be a woman on the $20 bill. Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson in the grand tradition of betches ousting WASPy frat bros.

The Treasury Department announced a year ago that it would replace Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill with a famous American woman. Hillary Clinton immediately started campaigning for first female president and first female on US currency. But the Treasury changed its mind at the last minute to replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill, because everyone and their mother is obsessed with the Hamilton musical. Plus Andrew Jackson owned hella slaves and was a total dick to the Native Americans, so like, karma.

Don't get too excited though, because they're not getting rid of ol' Andy completely—they're just moving him to the back of the bill. Kind of like how most racist white people, even after being outed for their bigoted ways, seem to do ok.

It'll take a while for the bills to get into circulation, so you probably won't be paying for Chipotle with a Harriet Tubman bill for a couple years. But still, it's a pretty BFD that a woman who escaped slavery, created the Underground Railroad to help slaves escape to the North, and became a nurse and a spy in the Union Army is finally being recognized for her role in American history.

Plus Harriet already has a super betchy portrait ready to go. She was rocking a white scarf before J. Crew sold them, and her facial expression screams that she is not impressed with whatever shit you're wasting your money on. So congrats Harriet, I can't wait to spend a new $20 tipping the bartender who called me an Uber while you look on disapprovingly.




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