June 23, 2014
Last weekend was the annual EDC music festival in Las Vegas and was once again a horrifying weekend for the socially and mentally inept. Honestly, Iraq sounds more appealing than EDC, and maybe even safer.
There are many music festivals that are a must attend on the social scene but EDC is definitely not one of them. EDC scares me more than Joan River’s face and Dennis Rodman’s brain combined. Not only do people die every year (like um how is this still a thing?) but the crowds are full of sweaty people in fur boots, sequined bras and tutus who also have absolutely no concept of reality. For three days you are surrounded by people with pulsing/low-key seizing bodies complete with crazy eyes waiting for the “beat to drop” in which they will then go into full cardiac arrest.
EDC is all DJ sets. As impressed as I am with DJ’s ability to press buttons while rolling their faces off, alien abduction noises mixed with the reversing beat of a Mac truck is not something I need to pay money to jam to. Three days of listening to alien sex is just intolerable.
There were a few recognizable DJ’s at the festival such as Steve Aoki (the founder of Benihana’s son), Tiesto (the one that’s 45), and Afrojack (the one with the goatee who looks like he could be an ex-boyfriend of JLo). Other acts included Plastic Plates, What So Not, Bro Safari, Chocolate Puma, and Infected Mushroom (no I didn’t make these up).
The concert venue may look cool at night from far away, but ironically just like the city it’s located in (Vegas) it is an utter travesty up close and in the light of day.
The funniest part about the drugged out attendees of EDC is not just their horrible taste in music and fashion but the fact that they actually think they are having some sort of spiritual experience at EDC. The event has even set up a mini chapel for people who fall in love at EDC (LOL) and feel the need to get married on the spot…
For more of an idea of the people of EDC please see below. WARNING: some of these images are hard to look at it.