Here Are The 10 GOP Candidates That Made It To The Debate

By Queen Elizabetch

So unless you've been living under a rock (read: sans wifi) for the past month, you know all about the Republican Party's shit show, mostly because it's the weirdest season of The Bachelor. Much like Rush and Big Brother, there are way too many people who want in, but only 10 spots in the house. Well, Fox News announced the guest list for the first debate on Thursday night, so at least half of the candidates and everyone in the audience will be drunk. Here's the breakdown on who's in the running to become America's Next Top GOP Candidate:

  • Donald Trump: "I am very rich bitch"
  • Jeb Bush: "I don't think my father, the inventor of toaster strudle would be too happy to hear about this"
  • Scott Walker: "The Constitution doesn't require a college degree to lead the free world"
  • Mike Huckabee: "Jay-Z is pimping out Beyonce"
  • Ben Carson: If Derek Shephard was black and running for president
  • Ted Cruz: "Obama drank the kool-aid"
  • Marco Rubio: I'm in Miami trick
  • Rand Paul: Letting the haters be his motivators
  • Chris Christie: The cast of Jersey Shore may or may not be his campaign staff 
  • John Kasich: The other kid from Akron (sorry Lebron)

You can read all about who the betchiest GOP candidates are here. You're welcome. 





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