Betches, what the hell was the cast of the HSM Reunion wearing? Get your heads in the game because apparently there’s not a stylist in heaven that they could reach. The lack of cohesiveness was tragic, and I want all the goddamn time and money I put into this franchise back.
He’s fucking wearing a bolo tie. He should know better. Didn’t he play a gay guy in the movies? Oh, wait, no he had that shy theatre girl who played the piano as his beard. Well fuck, even a metro guy wouldn’t wear that.
He kind of looked like a struggling Miami club promoter. All he needed was a Hermes belt and brown leather loafers. And how do we feel about men who wear big ass Italian mob rings? Personally, I thought three rings were three rings too much. Side note: What the hell happened to Corbin Bleu Cheese? Jump in was literally Oscar-nominated and convinced me double-dutch was the only way I was gonna finally get popular. What a letdown.
Oop that ain’t no froo froo pink princess Sharpay. She went straight from Toddlers and Tiaras to streetwalker. For the life of me, I cannot figure out what her graphic t-shirt says. I’m sure it’s like, “Love Paris” or “I promise it was a deviated septum,” but who the fuck knows.
Look closely at that blouse. It looks like a collage of colored pencil shavings. The light-washed ripped jeans and the black blazer are a little dated tbh. Not our favorite look, but we get it, she’s the smart one, so she doesn’t have time to dress well. There’s no quadratic formula to solve this fashion faux pas.
She went for a Bohemian Goth look with the flowy white shirt, red lip, jet-black straight lob, and a black choker. She was reppin’ Wildcat colors with these high-waisted red pants with big black and white flowers, one of which placed a little too close to her flower. Just reminds me of the scene where Troy takes her to the roof garden and they’re dancing and singing and it’s totally realistic and definitely happens in the real world.
I understand that Zac Efron is the Beyoncé of the group, but could he really not take a night off from flexing in his mirror to satisfy the only reason someone would ever watch a HSM Reunion? He would’ve been the best dressed because we all know he wouldn’t have worn a shirt…
Overall, 2/3 betches would not recommend any of these outfits. I guess they were all in this together, and by that I mean a together effort to look like a group of people from an AA meeting. We’re just missing the druggie who could secretly play the cello. Honestly, where the fuck was Ms. Darbus. She would’ve saved this night by slaying in some sequin number, so way to go Disney because you fucked this all up.