September 10, 2014
Let's do a quick throwback to the glory of the early 2000's when Juicy Couture jumpsuits thrived and Aaron Carter and Hilary Duff were in love. They did a whole episode of Lizzie McGuire about their relationship and were the absolute cutest.
Then Lindsay Lohan broke up a betch's first Royal Couple like the cracked out whore she is and our innocence was shattered. Well Aaron Carter is on his comeback tour. For $150 VIP tickets you can sit on his lap and subtweet his unrequited love for Hil, "Don't be that stupid douche who loses the love of his life forever...like me..." - Poetry by Mr. Carter.
Today Hilary responded, and by responded I mean broke Aaron's heart...again. "He keeps doing that [saying he loves her]. I don't know how to feel." Translation: do better and maybe you'll get a lunch date. I low key respect Hilary for this move because she refuses to be the back burner bitch to Aaron's meth habit. I agree Hil, he does need to work a whole hell of a lot harder to win you back. At the same time, can you imagine the theme party possibilities if these two crazy kids worked it out?!?!! Here's some advice Aaron, stop looking like you just twerked in the Mickey Mouse Club House, get a song on the charts (just one), and show up with a ring. I'm pulling for you guys to be the new but definitely not improved Mr. and Mrs. Carter.