April 11, 2014
I met a guy recently while visiting my aunt who is in the marines. We hit it off and continued to talk after I returned to school. We haven't entered a relationship yet because the whole ldr thing kind of scares me and I want to make sure it's worth it. But he only has a year left of service so it's not like the distance would be permanent.
Those things aside, my problem is that he has an ex who clearly still has feelings for him. She cheated on him while he was in boot camp and he broke up with her. But they were still in each other's lives up until he met me. My problem is that although he says he hasn't talked to her since he met me (about two months ago), she comments on all his shit on Facebook and apparently still had his fb password up until recently. I know this because I posted something on his wall, he deleted it, I questioned him about it and he sent me a screenshot of her bitching at how he didn't tell her he was seeing someone else and that she was removing my post from his page. I guess my question is do I have a right to be bothered by this? He isn't my boyfriend but we have both established that we have feelings for each other. Am I being over sensitive? And if not, what should I say to him?
Confused (sorry I know that's not original but I'd rather that than sound stupid)
The drama that accompanies long distance relationships is always a pain in the ass to deal with. Add a psychotic ex girlfriend into the mix and you’d have to be certifiable yourself to agree to sign up for that before you’re even official with this guy. Also, he’s obviously talked to her since he met you two months ago since she’s bitching to him about you and still accessing his Facebook account.
Anyway, the short but sweet answer is that you don’t have a right to be truly bothered by this because the guy is not your boyfriend and therefore doesn’t owe you anything. On the other hand, what you should communicate to him is that he’s clearly not over his last relationship and you’re not interested in dealing with the drama between him and his ex-girlfriend. Maybe once he sorts out his shit and gets the crazies out of his life there will be a shot for you guys. Until then, no point in putting yourself in a fatal attraction situation over a guy you don’t know that well who also lives far away. There are far less dramatic ways to go about getting a boyfriend.