March 17, 2014
I have been hooking up with this guy and I started to really like him. I asked him to define the relationship and he said that he doesn't want to date. He said either hooking up or nothing. How do I get him to commit?
Dear No Name,
You shouldn’t be ‘getting a guy to commit’ he should want to commit to you. The only time it’s okay to try and manipulate someone into committing to you is if they’re on the fence and you sort of just ignore them for a little until they figure out their feelings and even that is a stretch when it comes to putting up with a guy’s bullshit.
You shouldn’t ever try to get a guy to commit if he doesn’t want to because even if he does commit your relationship will fucking suck. Who wants to date someone they had to convince to be with them?
This guy isn’t even playing games. He told you straight out that that’s not what he’s looking for. Since you’re clearly looking for more, your job now is to tell him that’s fine and then stop hooking up with him. You want different things and if this guy isn’t dying to be with you, nothing you say or do will change his mind. The best thing you can do is show him that you have self respect and commit to moving on. After that, stop answering his texts and remind yourself that you can find someone you don’t have to convince to be with you.