How Do I Get My Friend To Stop Hooking Up With A Loser Pot Dealer? Dear Betch...

By Sgt. Olivia Betchson

Dear Betch,

How do I get my friend to get over her loser pot dealer hookup?  He happens to be her neighbour so she says its convenient, but all he does is reel her in to bang, get her hopes up, and then ignore her till he wants to hook up again. This asshole is even too lazy to walk over to her place so he always summons her over to his. Please help this cycle has been going on for years and i am so sick of hearing about it!


concerned/annoyed friend

Dear friend of girl who’s fucking Seth Rogen,

Ugh, this guy sounds like the worst and I feel for you. At some point or another every betch has to deal with a loser who’s hooking up with her bestie (because everybody slips up at some time). Obv your initial line of defense is ignoring the guy and hoping he will go away (just like we do with all our other problems), but seeing as this has been going on for years, waiting for this floser to bounce might not ever work.

You know those issues that have to be handled delicately, so as not to upset anyone? Yeah, this is not one of those things. This betch needs tough love. No more coddling her, comforting her when her drug dealer acts like…well, a shady drug dealer, or helping her craft a perfectly witty text. First, you need to sit her down and be like “Yo, this guy sucks for real,” and then tell her exactly why. Don’t sugar coat it. Don’t let her justify his shitty behavior, and keep bringing the point home that he DGAF about her and she needs to drop him. She’ll be resistant at first, and it’s gonna be hard because no betch would want to give up multiple years’ worth of free weed, but you need to be firm. 

Then, you need to lay down the law: she can choose to hook up with the guy all she wants (because you’re not her mom), but she’s not allowed to complain to you or any of the besties ever again. Be consistent with this, every time she tries to complain from then on you need to shut her down or else she won’t get it. Odds are, she’s in this relationship for the drama (and the weed) and once you all stop playing into her soap opera she’ll come around quicker. Hopefully.

If that doesn’t work, at least you won’t have to hear her bitch about it, and you can continue to reap the benefits of her shitty hookup.

Oh, and tell her to get some fucking self respect. Betches don’t get “summoned” over, we do the summoning.

Get a new dealer (what, like it’s hard?),

The Betches

Got a question so annoying only the Betches can answer it? Email [email protected] and we may just help you out. 




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