April 4, 2014
I am friends with this girl who refuses to ever drive to meet up with me or any of our friends. I have my own car and always, and I mean always offer to drive all my friends but its just gone way too far with her (literally). Jessica (name changed) lives thirty minutes away from all our friends and anything we do, has her own car and license but NEVER offers to drive. She makes making plans beyond difficult because she refuses to drive and meet somewhere let alone leave her house without being picked up.
Giving rides once in a while is one thing, but always needing to drive thirty min out of the way to pick her up with nothing in return is just getting exhausting and annoying. She claims she doesn't like to drive because she just wants to spend alone time with me but it has become pretty obvious that she is too lazy and cheap to just drive herself. And, when I tell her I can't drive she gets mad at me for days and then just asks other friends if they "want to spend alone time with her" to get out of driving.
I am exhausted of dealing with her shit and so are all our friends. How do we tell Jessica that she needs to start driving or we don't want to meet up with her anymore?
Dear Annoyed AF (future truth seekers, please retire this pseudonym),
First of all, this “alone time with me” thing is like the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. If I had a friend who consistently stated she wanted to have ‘alone time’ with me in an effort to get me to drive to her house I’d probably bring pepper spray the next time I saw her or like, make sure I was never in a bikini in her presence.
Second, what you’re basically saying is, “I have a friends who is cheap and lazy. How do I handle this?” This is what we like to call a personality flaw that has expressed itself in her selfish refusal to drive anywhere. If you and all your friends agree that she’s being a selfish bitch, the next time she refuses to drive, simply call her out and tell her no one is coming to get her lazy ass. If things escalate, remind her that you’ve been very nice in picking her up all these times but you simply don’t have the time or patience to drive all the way out to get her but at the same time you understand if she’d rather not make the drive and come. By subtly implying that you all DGAF if she doesn’t come if she doesn’t want to drive herself, this will likely trigger her sense of FOMO and she’ll have an attitude adjustment regarding her willingness to actually make an effort to hang out.
I sure as fuck would not agree to be any friend’s chauffeur, regardless of how much creepy alone time she wanted with me.