How To Be A Betchy Bridesmaid In 6 Easy Steps | Betches

How To Be A Betchy Bridesmaid In 6 Easy Steps

Being a bridesmaid is one of the most selfless acts you can commit. You're not the center of attention, like at all, and you have to actually do shit for your friends, but if you do it right, people love you and think you're God's gift to this green Earth. Here are some tips on how to be the best betchiest bridesmaid you can be. 


1. Start Saving Now

Being in a wedding can get expensive from shower gifts, to the actual dress, to hair and makeup on the day of. Plus, you're technically supposed to pay for the bride-to-be's cut of the bachelorette party, so buck up and start saving. On average, you can expect to spend anywhere between $500-$1,000. 

2. Maintain A Schedule

You basically have to do all of the bitch work involved in planning a wedding, but as a friend, you owe it to the bride to handle menial tasks while she's trying her hardest to enjoy her special day. Communication is KEY to stay on top of these betches, so keep all of the other bridesmaids in line with some semblance of a schedule.  Include important dates, like when to order dresses by, when to book hotels, shower dates, etc. If anyone falls out of line or misses a deadline, that's on them. 

3. Don't Be Dramatic

The day of the wedding, or the weeks of events leading up to it, are not about you—like, at all. Let your betchy bride enjoy her moment in the spotlight. If you disagree with the other bridesmaids on something, let it go. Stirring up wedding party drama only makes you look petty. For the most part, all you have to do is keep your head down and show up when you're supposed to. All of the planning, sans the shower and bachelorette party, should be handled. It's your job to make sure they go off without a hitch. 

4. Do Your Job

This is probably the most important step in the process. Don't just talk the talk. Plan an amazing bachelorette party, penis straws and all. Get the bride-to-be good and drunk on her last night of freedom. Show up on the day of the wedding with little emergency kits you see on Pinterest. Get ready to help the bride when she has to pee. If something's not right at the venue, get ready to bitch someone out on behalf of the bride. Any and all of the stereotypical bridesmaid duties are yours for the taking. 

5. It's Okay To Say No

Being a bridesmaid is an expensive job that you really don't get paid for, other than sharing in the joy that is being part of the hub-bub on the day of the wedding. If you do decide you don't want to be a bridesmaid, or you really just can't afford it, don't wait until the last minute to bail. Let your friend know ASAP so they can find a replacement. And if they truly do get pissed, that's on them. You're the bigger person in that situation, so keep your head held high. 

6. Bask In The Glory

This is probably the most important step in the process. Don't just talk the talk. Plan an amazing bachelorette party, penis straws and all. Get the bride-to-be good and drunk on her last night of freedom. Show up on the day of the wedding with little emergency kits you see on Pinterest. Get ready to help the bride when she has to pee. If something's not right at the venue, get ready to bitch someone out on behalf of the bride. Any and all of the stereotypical bridesmaid duties are yours for the taking. 




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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