December 24, 2014
Betches may give off the vibe that we are high maintenance because we always have our shit together, but don’t be mistaken, a true betch is chill AF. One of the things that separates betches from basics is that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Despite our shit talking, expensive hair products, and constant phone anxiety, we also contradict ourselves because we usually don’t care as much as we let on. We’re already perfect.
Being chill is like the gift that keeps giving. We all know the WGG that can’t stop talking about her fantasy football team and how she “doesn’t have any girlfriends” but being chill is totally different. Like, a chill betch will eat nachos and chug beers in a jersey but also knows how to navigate up a fire escape at a rooftop party in heels.
So you’re out with your besties at a bar and you see your ex with another girl. Instead of spilling your drink on him and crying to the bartender, you spill your drink on yourself so you can go to the bathroom to clean up and finish crying in there instead. Sooooo chill.
Like Andre 300 said, betches are cooler than being cool, we’re ice chilllll. Sure sometimes we blackout and lose our iPhone, but we’ll never make a bro stop a party to search for it, we’ll just make him buy a new one the next day. Soooo chill.
The key to being chill is balance. Betches know how to party like we all have PHD’s in crazy, but we are equally fun to hang out with at home in our pajamas. Chill is an essential state of mind. It means no matter where we are or what we’re doing, we know how to handle any situation while still looking hot. It’s important that you look hot when you’re being so chill, because it helps to highlight how chill you are.
Betches know if they’re so chill because they will constantly get bros telling them how chill they are. For example, “It’s so chill that you’re into pizza and buffalo wings just as much as yoga and Equinox.” or “It’s so chill that you didn’t ask me why I’m on Tinder even though we’ve been exclusive for 3 months.” It’s nice when bros compliment us on our chill factors but, as chill betches, we don’t really care about compliments. It’s like, whatever, we’re just happy to be here. We’re just so fucking chill.