April 13, 2015
It doesn’t have to be Easter for there to be a resurrection. Sometimes in our dating lives, we encounter magicians and escape artists that disappear on us faster than it takes to swipe left. And every so often, one of these ghosts decides to come back to life and you have yourself a resurrected bro.
When a bro reappears in your life, it often happens at most inconvenient times. Ghosts seem to have impeccable radar as to when you are feeling most bored/lonely/single to send a text to see what’s up. The minute you break up with someone you’re dating, chances are you will receive at least a few texts from bros in your Missing Persons log. For whatever reason, they seem to know exactly when you are most vulnerable to come back in for an attack.
One thing to remember when you get a “what’s up?” a year later from an ex is that from the moment a bro ghosts on you with no explanation, they are no longer accountable for anything from there on out. And therefore, you don't have to be either. You may be tempted to respond, and you’re perfectly welcome to, as long as you are going into it with the knowledge that nothing has changed and he’ll probably pull a Houdini on you again eventually. But you’re also just as welcome to silently push any texts, favs, or likes to the back of your phone and never look back.
Sure Ryan Gosling may have written Rachel McAdams every day for a year in The Notebook, but the chances your text messages went missing in the cloud are much less likely. Sometimes, the resurrected bro will be an in person run-in – and it will seem like you’re falling for each other again. You might even think it's fate pulling you together (it's not). You’ll make plans to get drinks and you’ll think he’s really changed. Spoiler alert: he didn’t. But hanging out with resurrected bros can be a good thing, as long as you expect nothing out of it and don’t count on him being any different than before.
The perks of spending time with an old flame that’s reappeared are that you both know each other well enough to skip the small talk/getting to know you. If you’re newly broken up, this is a stellar alternative to going on shitty first dates with thirsty dudes. If anything, hanging out with a resurrected bro is great for when they finally apologize for their shitty behavior before. Even if you’ve since moved on, hearing him tell you he was an asshole for disappearing is a great win. The bottom line is that they're only there to feed your ego. You owe them nothing.
As long as you recognize that you’re not playing the game with him anymore – indulging in a resurrected bro keeps your stakes low and your heart safe. But be warned – as soon as you start thinking “maybe this time will be different”, he will disappear again. At the end of the day, there’s no good reason for a bro to disappear with no warning and therefore there’s no good reason for you to engage with him when he reappears, unless you’re bored enough to “see what happens.” Spoiler alert: Nothing good.