January 15, 2014
You’ve been hooking up with this guy. You went out for drinks a few times, it's been pretty good so far. Times goes on, you guys meet up drunk at a bar with your friends a few weekends in a row, he sleeps over several times, and texts you throughout the week to see how it’s going...all signs seemingly point to a continuing relationship. The next week rolls around and suddenly he stops texting you. Just like that. No fade out, no short responses, no bad excuses not to chill like ‘I’m in desperate need of a haircut’ or ‘my boy is hosting Shabbat dinner this week’. Sorry betch, but you've been ghosted.
So what do you do? Well you definitely don’t berate him with ‘??????????’ texts. That’ll definitely make you look like a fucking idiot. Not only will he not respond, but he’ll show his friends his phone "yo this girl won’t leave me alone, good thing I dodged that crazy bitch.” What you have to do is mentally cope with the fact that it’s over. You’ve got to let go Jack, you’ve got to let go. Here’s how:
Like with any type of emotional wound, denial comes first therefore acceptance is always the initial and most difficult obstacle to overcome. But you’re a betch and if you were/are able to blackout 4 nights a week yet still graduate college on time, there’s nothing you can’t handle. Remember, he’s just a fucking guy who has fucking issues of his own. Shit happens. If he had the balls to do this to you out of the blue you probably didn’t know him that well so it's very possible he had other things going on his life that got in the way of starting a relationship with you. That, or he’s just an asshole and you shouldn’t be pining over a dick because you wouldn’t have dated a dick anyway.
The last thing you should be doing is sitting around waiting for him to text you. Not only will that drive you insane but it’ll stop you from actually moving on. He’s going to fucking dare to ghost YOU? You shouldn’t even waste another second of your thoughts or time on this loser. Remember, closure is for ugly people.
Once you’ve accepted that it’s over and he’s not going to text you, you’re probably going to start replaying the entire “relationship” (that wasn't) over in your head like until you make yourself nauseous. Despite how many times you tell yourself not to, you will so I’ll just tell you how to make it quick. Go over everything that happened but don’t be one sided about it. It’s very possible you did something wrong, and if you did, it’s almost easier to move on because you can learn from your mistakes. As a girl it’s much easier to welcome the idea that you were dumped for being a little too intense in the beginning of a relationship than for having cankles because you can work on the former.
This is obviously much easier for those who are smart enough to self reflect. For those who aren’t, don’t know what to tell you. Maybe see a therapist.
If you still can’t seem to understand why he did this to you: When a girl (myself included) first meets a guy, granted there are no blatant red flags, she tends to put him on a pedestal or create an image of him that is far from what he really is because she’s so eager to find a boyfriend. So when shit inevitably goes awry, she thinks that the most perfect guy ever dumped her and there must be like all these things wrong with her. But in reality, she wasn't dating the perfect man. She was dating some imaginary bro she conjured up and placed that image upon the first guy who came her way. So if she takes some time to reflect she'll come to realize that she didn’t REALLY know the real him. And he most likely didn’t really know the first thing about her.
Really though MOVE ON. Like I said, this guy isn’t and wasn't worth your time. If he had the capacity to do this to you, then you couldn’t have really known him that well, could you? Even though the reason for the ghosting could have been your fault, it could have also been completely due to all of his own shit. But it also could have been a combo. Either way don’t dwell. Go #118 work out, go #77 shopping, go out and get drunk. Go do what you need to do to make yourself feel super hot because you are (unless you’re like, not).
How to avoid giving a shit: Always have 2-3 guys on deck. This way when one pulls away, you don’t feel as bad and you’re still getting attention from 1-2 other guys. Just don’t have sex with all of them. That’s super slutty and will emotionally fuck you up more than if you saw like, an actual ghost.
*I totally made this statistic up