March 24, 2015
Being a betch means that your relationship status does not define you. That means whether you’re single, in love, or somewhere in between, you’re entitled to that so long as you don’t let it take over your life. It’s betchy to care less, but every blue moon a betch falls in love, and that’s also like whatever. Falling in love is not betchy to talk about, but it happens. But even worse than finding yourself head over heels is realizing you’re falling out of love with someone you care about – a most unfortunate dilemma.
When you fall out of love with someone, it feels a lot like a bad comedown. You can remember feeling unadulterated joy with this person, but you can’t figure out how you felt that way. Like your quesadilla tastes like crack when you’re drunk (or we assume what crack must taste like to crack addicts), you remember when you couldn’t get enough but the thought of eating all that cheese in your hungover morning just makes you want to throw up.
This can be a very jarring feeling for many reasons. If you’re in a long term relationship, no longer feeling attracted to a guy can feel incriminating. Especially if he’s been a perfect gentleman, you may find yourself wondering if you’re just incapable of love. You might try to reignite feelings or ignore your fast-fading love to avoid an awkward conversation. But the truth is – feelings and people change. Just like you can fall in love overnight, you can fall out of love just as quickly.
Do not panic. You might find yourself suddenly getting annoyed by everything this person does. Suddenly, all his flaws seem so loud, even the ones you used to find endearing or just plain failed to see. You find yourself trying to avoid seeing this person or wishing your plans would fall through. Instead of zombifying your relationship and corpsing your way through several more months of mediocrity, acknowledge that it might be time to move on. If you’ve only been dating for a few months, you can break things off quickly and cleanly without a labored goodbye. A simple “I don’t think things are working out” is sufficient. If you’ve been dating for over a year, then an honest conversation will make you feel better and give him closure.
When you start dating someone new, it’s easy to let your infatuation blind you from glaring differences in wants and needs. But as you move on with your life, you might discover that fundamental differences make it hard to stay in love with someone. But falling out of love doesn’t indicate failure – it actually indicates growth. It means that as a person, both of you have changed in significant ways – for the better. Realizing you’re not right for someone and vice versa means you’re just one step closer to finding the one. The sooner you end things, the sooner both of you will be able to fall in love again. Betches are constantly moving forward, which is why it’s better to cut things off than to stay in a stale relationship.