October 8, 2014
As betches, we’re often in situations where bros try to hook up with us, which can get overwhelming real fucking fast when you’re this hot. Not having sex with bros (sometimes) is an extremely complex theory, but a basic tenet anyone with the mental capacity of Amanda Bynes can understand is that this theory leads to sexual tension.
When you find yourself faced with constantly hanging out at the same parties, bars, or any other type of social gathering you black out during as one specific bro who is trying to hook up with you, you need to first be honest with yourself. If this guy is below back burner bro quality then you need to find a new scene. Extricate yourself from that potentially awks environment ASAP because shit can get ugly real fast if you don’t make it clear you wouldn’t touch this bro with a ten foot pole, even while blackout.
On the other side of the sexual tension spectrum is the scenario where you find yourself extremely attracted to this bro and he seems to want it back. Well actually he definitely wants it back, because you’re a hot betch, but for some reason he thinks playing it coy is the move. Let the mind fuckery begin.
You check out his Snapchat best friends a couple times a week so you know it’s real. Whenever you two are in the same room you can feel the sexual tension between you two and all your besties/his fellow bros make obvious comments about it too, but nothing exciting has happened yet because last weekend you were more interested in the drink special your fav bar had going on than this bro. Let’s just say you ended up drunk bonding with your besties (and maybe the toilet) instead resolving sexual tension.
In this case, you have to play coy back, but don’t be an ice-cold, unresponsive bitch. No bro will put up with that kind of behavior for long. Feed into the sexual tension, but don’t be overtly obvious that you want to make out with him. Make some suggestive comments, maybe hold eye contact for a couple beats longer (don’t be creepy about this one, look away after you know he got the hint – no one likes a Crazy Eyes). This is sometimes a difficult thing to accomplish after 5 tequila shots, but just remember that no matter the situation a betch always gets what she wants.
In most cases this bro will be picking up what you’re putting down and your sexual tension will be resolved AKA you get what you want. If he doesn’t, then he’s too dumb for you and betches don’t have time for teaching boys how to treat girls.