October 21, 2014
Halloween is a betch’s favorite kind of holiday. It does not require having to go home and see your family, it gives you an excuse to #42 dress like a slut, and access to excessive amounts of alcohol. If Halloween were a person, it would be your best fucking friend. There are people in the world who celebrate it as a cultural thing, but this article is not for them. If you want to hear about that, go watch the history channel or something.
I’m not going to talk about costumes very much, mostly because fucking Buzzfeed posts an article every other day about that shit. Costumes are pretty simple for betches: take a moderately good costume idea, combine it with a low cut top/short skirt, and boom! Costume. But, I will discuss specifically how to handle Halloween like a god damn pro. Because, though it may come but once a year, your actions on Halloween have the potential to haunt you for the rest of the year. Or at least until you can fuck shit up again on St. Patrick’s Day.