October 1, 2014
Compliments, like Venti lattes and Grey Goose, are a betch’s lifeblood. We get them on our hair, clothes, and profile pictures, and we get them often. Sometimes, however, our lazy and/or dumb peers are way too slow to the nice-talking game for our liking. We’ve got to give them a push in the right direction in these cases, and we do this by going fishing.
The main goal to remember when fishing for compliments is to not get called out for this shameless activity. Getting caught entails someone else being like “OMG you are sooo fishing right now!” which sucks and makes you look like a tryhard. Ain’t nobody want that. Follow these tips to make sure those Prada shoes don’t go unnoticed but your hook, line and sinker do:
Don’t waste time with frenemies because if they give you a compliment, it’s going to be with a backhand. Seek out your besties or some reliable nice girls before attempting any of the following techniques.
That Moncler scarf isn’t going to wear itself! If you’re not getting compliments on something right away, the reason could very well be that it’s not in plain sight. Make sure that whatever you want to highlight is out in the open and within easy viewing distance.
If you’re wearing something new and others don’t notice right away (rude), make sure to point this out. You can talk about how it was backordered for two months or how you’ve yet to break it in, but what you’re really saying is “AHEM—praise please.”
This is the least subtle form of fishing, but also one of the most effective. If you want to hear how amazing your blowout looks, straight up ask if your hair looks okay. 99 times out of 100, they are going to give you at least two different compliments about it. And if they don’t, well… someone just lost an Instagram follower.
Complaining about oneself is another classic fishing move, but it only works well in moderation. Keep it simple here—something like, “I could land a plane with these pores, ugh,” and wait for every betch in the room to tell you that that is a hundo p not true. Don’t be that annoying chick that is alwaysss complaining about shit though. It’s like, I don’t hate you because you’re fat, you’re fat because I hate you.
There’s nothing quite like watching someone perk up when they get an unexpected compliment. Sad but true is the fact that the less likely they are to receive a compliment, the more excited they’ll be and likely to give you one in return. If you tell someone their American Eagle tank is “cool” and vintage, they will probably gasp and tell you you look skinnier than ever. Perf.