We open in the hospital, where news from the night’s events are being pieced together. A pregnant, passed out Laurel is still on the table. Meggy is giving very illegal details to a panicked Oliver while Bonnie receives a shady phone call. “I’m on it, just trust me,” she says. “Oh God,” I whisper with a mouth full of kettle corn from my couch.
Bonnie goes to a funeral home to view her father’s dead body. She drops a quick “cremate him” before bouncing. Stone cold Bon Bon strikes again. Once outside she gets a call from Laurel, who asks if she’s seen Frank. Bonnie replies with a stern no while looking directly into Frank’s eyes. Rather than the slap he’s expecting, Frank gets a big old hug for offing her deadbeat father.
Then the confrontation comes. First item to address: what the actual fuck, buddy?
When the rest of the Keating Five finds out that Wes is going to meet Meggy’s parents that night, there are mixed reactions. Mikayla offers engagement ring advice, Laurel barely conceals her jealousy, and Connor tells him to dump her because not one of them is fit to date outsiders after all the shit they’ve done. He’s not wrong.
Wes: What am I supposed to do? Date Laurel?
Laurel: HAH. What??? That’s a crazy idea.
They’re approached by the shady new guy whose name I still don't know. He hands Connor a folder under the pretense of actual work but it turns out to just be a Xeroxed picture of his ass. Good one buddy. It’s 2016 and gay jokes are definitely still funny.
We’re treated to a full-on Beauty Shop routine while Annalise gets her hair done. All the supporting characters are entertaining, but Annalise is staring off into the distance in a dissociative haze. Is it possible she’s feeling remorse over Nate? Unlikely, but we’ll see.
Frank tells Bonnie he shot Wallace in front of Wes to make sure Annalise wasn’t going to come after him. Flawed logic, but okay. Bonnie counters with the fact that Annalise is only going after him because Frank’s antics made Wes a suspect. Even he has to know that there’s nothing in this world she won’t do to protect/seduce Wes. Frank says none of this would have ever happened if Sam had just “left him there,” and this is when things get juicy.
A young Frank is looking very Girl Interrupted in what appears to be some kind of solitary confinement prison. He gets a visit from Sam, who is there as a favor to his sister and Frank’s family. It turns out Frank has been locked up since he was 13, and Sam is here to help get him out. He puts Annalise on the case, and she is less than thrilled to take it on. Their first meeting is rocky, but Frank shows enough of his tortured side to pique Annalise’s interest.
In Bonnie’s absence Annalise decides to actually check out one of the AA meetings that she promised to go to in order to get her license back. Her general disinterest in the entire ordeal turns around when she spots the Dean in the room as well. Maybe just being a woman at this university drives people to drink themselves to death.
Back at school, the annoying kid is reading a news report out loud to the students about Annalise’s suspension. It turns out that a replacement has been appointed, and man is this kid psyched about it.
What did Annalise ever do to you, asshole? Cover up the details of your brother’s murder? Low-key cause your mom to kill herself? Frame you for a crime you didn’t commit? She’s done all those things but I’m fairly certain he wasn’t involved, so what the fuck. The Keating Five is distraught. Without their hen mother, who will corral all the baby murderers into safety?
Across the country, Bonnie is trying to convince Frank to come home. She’s convinced that if Frank apologizes and forgives Annalise, she’ll do the same in turn. Okay, Bonnie. Sure.
Frank: She wants me dead.
Bonnie: She wants a lot of people dead. Don’t take it personally.
Back to Frank’s flashback, Annalise starts a fight with Sam over Frank. She thinks he’s punishing her for her infertility and this is a last attempt at forcing her into motherhood. Man, if only Sam knew that forcing her hand with Frank would be the reason that they never have a kid. What kind of dramatic irony.
The scene that follows is a montage of Annalise cleaning all of the alcohol out of her house while remembering her life with Sam. It’s a sad stroll down a memory lane full of failed pregnancy attempts, happy moments, and truly unfortunate hairstyles. She immediately reclaims the recently abandoned alcohol, making this whole fake alcoholic scheme seem more and more rooted in reality.
Over in the weird study hall that the law students seem to live in these days, the annoying guy is having a level five meltdown over his missing laptop. I am forever grateful because it leads to the most beautiful smackdown in the history of this show, delivered courtesy of Mikayla. Her hillbilly peeks through more than a little bit, leaving Connor and Asher to spend the rest of the episode trying to figure out the source of her Southern accent.
Meanwhile, Wes’ dinner with Meggy’s dad is as awkward as you would expect considering this kid is a Pandora’s box full of tragedy. We find out that Wes has been lying to Meggy about what really happened to his mother, citing stomach cancer as the cause of her death rather than a tragic Annalise-facilitated suicide. Understandable why he’d want to keep that under wraps, I suppose.
At home, Annalise is having one of those weird TV drunk nights where she dances around her living room with a bottle while smooth 80’s rock plays in the background. Does this actually happen in real life? Has anyone ever drank half a fifth of tequila in their robe and then spent the rest of the night swaying to Toto alone? If so, let me know. I have so many questions for you.
She calls Nate and leaves what I know to be a very realistic drunk voicemail.
Annalise: You’re lucky I left. I’m a monster. More baggage than LAX. For real. K bye.
In a dingy motel somewhere, Frank tries to convince Bonnie to run away with him. His plan includes a boring town, lackluster jobs, and cute kids that he’s either stealing or attempting to make with her. It was kind of unclear. But Bonnie’s delayed response has him backtracking with the old “yeah no I was totally joking,” before turning on the TV and wallowing in his embarrassment. The thing is, Bonnie definitely considered it.
Finally, the reason for Frank’s incarceration is revealed, and man is it fucked up. He attempted to murder his father as a teenager for no reason other than the fact that he was parenting him, but botched it somehow. He’s been fucking up all his paroles because he’s afraid to get out of jail, and Sam tells him that that’s exactly the reason he should be out.
Frank startles awake from his nightmare about that moment and Bonnie is there to comfort him. She talks about moving to a coastal town in Oregon and forgetting all their problems together, and then they totally hook up. I did not see this coming in 100 years. Nothing brings two people together like some supreme daddy issues and total resentment towards Annalise. Just ask Wes and Laurel.
Further perpetuating every drunk stereotype in the book, Annalise calls Wes over to her house and tries to get him join her party before projectile vomiting an entire bottle of tequila into her toilet. Then she starts sobbing and tells him to go away because he has to hate her. It’s like watching the greatest hits of my freshman year of college. Even their drunken mess of an encounter is full of sexual tension. Nothing confuses me more than this relationship.
So it turns out that the annoying kid (his name is Simon??? Who knew) was totally justified in his suspicions because Mikayla 100% stole his laptop and gave it to Oliver for a quick vetting. She was only looking for some notes when they stumbled upon the murder flyers of Annalise that have been popping up all over campus.
Back in the past, Annalise has agreed to take on Frank’s case. She realizes she’s pregnant during their first real session—probably some foreshadowing that they all should have paid better attention to. In the present, the Keating Five come to a very hungover Annalise with their newfound evidence. She’s not incredibly worried, considering the fact that of all the people in town who could feasibly bring her down, this bitch-ass law student isn’t even close to being one of them.
To prove this, she barges into his apartment and scares the absolute shit out of him with threats of expulsion and possible prison time. He clearly takes it to heart because the next day he hand delivers an outline to the Keating Five, who are actually studying for an exam for once.
JK, Wes distracts from the study sesh by summoning Laurel to a back stairwell to talk about Meggy. More specifically, breaking up with Meggy. His mouth says “I’m sick of lying to her” but his eyes say “I love you, Laurel.”
Wes: I’ll break up with Meggy. Frank is gone. So…
Laurel: Yeah. About that.
Plot twist: Frank is actually gone, for now at least. Bonnie comes back to their hotel room after what I’m sure was a passionate night of tortured lovemaking to find it empty and cleaned out. Just what this poor thing needs, some more abandonment issues.
Annalise presents her lawsuit to the Dean, a whopping $50 million ordeal. The Dean acquiesces, but only because of their newfound alcoholic sisterhood. Her genuine attempt at reaching out is met by icy contempt, classic Annalise.
After finding out that Frank is still in the picture, Wes runs straight to Annalise. Gotta get rid of the competition somehow, right? With some prodding from Wes, Laurel tells Annalise that Frank is with Bonnie in Colport, and she only kept it from him because she knows Annalise tried to kill him. Bonnie arrives just in time to hear this admission, and MAN does Annalise look upset about it. Have fun with that one, Bon.
Back in the hospital, Bonnie finishes up her phone call by telling the person on the other line that Laurel is pregnant. Meanwhile, Oliver attempts to reach Connor but ends up getting Mikayla. He tells her that Laurel is pregnant and in serious condition, while a TV in the background confirms that the body found in Annalise’s home is an unidentified male.
This leaves us with four major characters still MIA. Wes, Connor, Asher or Nate could easily be the dead body. I’m almost positive it’s Simon, only because I refuse to accept it being anyone else. Please Shonda, don’t take Connor away from us.