September 25, 2015
Season 2 of How to Get Away with Murder premiered last night and much like Wes on the first day of law school or Bonnie anytime she’s expected to be normal, I was not fucking prepared. What I learned from this week’s episode is that the worst possible crime you can commit is not cold blooded murder, but lying to Annalise Keating.
If you can’t remember what happened at the end of last season you should probably check out our recap, but the gist is that someone killed Rebecca in the basement of Annalise’s home/law office/den of iniquity and we had to spend all summer trying to figure out who. Her body was found by Frank and Annalise, who then told the rest of the felons/law students that she had escaped to cover it up.
Fast forward ten days, and The Keating Five is about four shots away from filming their audition video for Bad Girls Club. Wes is full of uncharacteristic angst, Michaela and Laurel hate each other, Asher is being blackmailed by a DA, and Connor has perpetual blue balls. Let’s dive in.
A district attorney hell bent on taking Annalise down has blackmailed Asher into spying for her. Honestly, this plot line is so minor that I almost forgot to mention it. You want to try and take down Annalise Keating? Get in fucking line. I highly recommend you change your course of action before you end up dead in her basement.
Asher is so nervous about the whole situation that he’s been avoiding Bonnie, his now open girlfriend. This development is having an unfortunate effect on Bonnie’s already frail psyche, which we’ll definitely get into later.
At the end of last season we found out that there is absolutely no justice in the world because Oliver, our resident IT God/human puppy, was HIV positive while Connor, the law student who didn’t understand that unprotected sex lead to disease, was not. Somewhere between his auditions for Rent and the copious amount of time spent generating sunshine with his smile, Oliver still manages to do hacker work for Annalise. Meanwhile Connor, who apparently has zero regard for his own sexual safety, walks around naked trying to seduce him.
Being the monster that he is, Oliver refuses to have sex with his boyfriend until his prep goes into effect. Inwardly, I’m assuming there are still an abundance of trust issues, and I think Connor picks up on that as well because in a grand gesture that shocked everyone, he sublets his apartment and moves in with Oliver. Did he ask first? No, but that’s not important. It was romantic. Shut up.
Michaela spent the vast majority of last season being engaged to a gay guy and having daily mental breakdowns over the fact that she lost her engagement ring while disposing of Sam’s body in the woods. We found out in the finale that she had never actually lost the ring at all; instead Laurel stole it to ensure Michaela’s compliance with the rest of the plan. Brilliant? For sure. Shady af? Also yes. Is Michaela holding a grudge? You betcha.
When she’s not threatening to beat the shit out of Laurel (a fight that Frank would absolutely watch in the corner while slowly stroking his beard), Michaela has found something new to constantly dwell on: Eggs 911. While the team had been holding Rebecca hostage last season, she grabbed Michaela’s phone and texted “Eggs 911. Lawyer’s house” to an unknown number. Michael is worried that Eggs is going to track her number and show up to murder her, which all things considered isn’t that out of the question.
Frank, master of all things shady and underhanded, tells her to chill because changing her number would look suspicious if Rebecca was ever discovered “missing.” Michaela ignores this seemingly wise advice, and texts Eggs 911 “Hi.” Not conspicuous at all and will definitely not end badly. Honestly, how did these fuckups get into law school, I swear.
Laurel spends most of the episode doing what she does best: defending Wes from the others, brooding, and inappropriately showing up at Frank’s house in the middle of the night. She arrives, unannounced at his home, to tell him that she thinks, nay knows, that Rebecca is dead, because otherwise she would have gone to the police and busted all of them for murder/kidnapping/obstruction of justice/perjury and whatever other felonies they managed to rack up last season. Honestly, I lost count.
Frank, who has spent the entire episode creepily monitoring everyone’s computer activity (zero surprise here) and trying to prove that Wes killed Rebecca, takes this as an admission of guilt. He runs straight to Annalise with his theory, his reasoning being that Laurel’s family is fucked up and therefore she is capable of murder. Seems like a brash assumption, but alright.
While there are bound to be others intermittently strewn between episodes, it seems like the overarching case for the season will be a murder trial of two young adults who had been adopted as children into an incredibly wealthy family. They are accused of murdering their parents and the evidence against them is overwhelming, so naturally Annalise wants to take it on. She has Bonnie and Laurel plant false evidence with the murder siblings’ current lawyer so that she can worm her way in. Initially, the defendants are skeptical because Annalise’s reputation is questionable at best. Being Annalise Keating, she finds a way to persuade them.
Siblings: Why would we hire you? We heard you murdered your husband.
Annalise: And I’m not in fucking jail, am I?
Siblings: Good enough for us.
Poor, Poor Nate
Remember Nate? The guy who was just trying to have a lowkey affair and ended up being fired from his job and then framed for the murder of his girlfriend’s husband? Well he’s still in jail. Last season Annalise slipped him a number and told him to fire his lawyer and then call it. Going against every ounce of self-preservation in his body, he does it.
The mysterious lawyer arrives and surprise: she’s Annalise’s ex. Honestly, who isn’t. Her name is Eve Rothlo, and she’s a super hot death row attorney who’s still hung up on Annalise. She puts up a big show of telling Annalise to go fuck herself for leaving her for Sam and then not reaching out for ten years, but after some crocodile tears and a persuasive make out sesh, Eve is on board. As if anyone in this show has the power to deny Annalise. Speaking of…
The sexual tension between these two reaches an all-time high this episode. It is uncomfortable for literally everyone involved. The predatory vulnerable hate sex they will inevitably have will be painful to watch and set to a fantastic soundtrack and I am looking forward to it with the same combination of trepidation and curiosity reserved for blind dates.
The episode begins with Wes throwing a full scale tantrum in class, defying Annalise in front of everyone by refusing to answer a question. Anyone else would have been immediately set on fire for such insolence, but it was Wes so Annalise turned it into a teaching moment and then made bedroom eyes at him.
Wes’ middle school levels of angst stem from the fact that he think Rebecca bailed on him despite the fact that he literally murdered a man and then proceeded to almost ruin everyone’s life for her. His abandonment/mommy issues are further exacerbated by the fact that he thinks Annalise knows where she went. Annalise does, in fact, know where Rebecca went: into a suitcase that Frank is probably keeping in his closet, but she doesn’t divulge that particular bit of information.
Once it is established that Wes did not kill Rebecca, the question is: who did? Literally everyone had motive and opportunity, and at this point we’ve established that they would all do just about anything to save themselves, but that doesn’t really give us any answers. What follows is an almost verbatim transcript of the moment Annalise figured it out.
Frank: Laurel whispers a lot and her family is fucked, I think she killed Rebecca.
Annalise: Hmmmm yes, this is all viable evidence. But wait, I know someone who whispers even more and whose family is even more fucked…BONNIE.
That’s right, Paris Fucking Gellar murdered Rebecca. The flashback was creepy and weird and only further cements her status as worst character in a show made up of primarily terrible people. As if willingly having sex with Asher wasn’t enough, this was the nail in the coffin of her feeble sanity.
At the end of the episode Annalise decided that she and her four students/murder accomplices need to blow of some steam with a well-deserved underground club night. She breaks out a new weave and everything for the occasion. Obviously no one invites Asher.
Laurel and Michaela mend their broken friendship in the way that only girls can: getting drunk and then dancing with each other. Michaela leaves her purse under the supervision of Wes, a terrible idea solely for the reason that men have no idea how to take care of anything. Wes immediately abandons purse duty for some highly inappropriate and incredibly intimate dancing with Annalise. While she rubs his chest and they gaze into each other’s eyes Michaela receives a text from Eggs 911 and Annalise’s voiceover from the beginning of the episode begins to play again. It’s all about how most murders are committed by people who know the victim.
Flash forward two months to an exterior shot of the murder twins’ mansion. A gunshot rings through the air. Wes is seen sprinting away from the scene of the crime. Inside, someone lays on the ground bleeding to death. Who is it? Annalise. Right as the camera pans over her body, her voiceover pauses on the word “LOVERS.” I chug my full glass of wine. Shonda strikes again.
TG for TGIT.