March 12, 2015
There’s nothing worse than getting into a slump that you can’t get out of. We’re not talking Sunday morning hangover status, that’s just standard practice. But slumps are a totally normal part of being a person, and even betches get into them sometimes.
What is a slump exactly? Generally speaking, it’s a prolonged period of time when a betch is not feeling as amazing as she normally is. It could be in her career, with her besties, or with bros, but her normally on point game feels off. She’s just not feeling it, and she’s not exactly sure why. It’s important to know that when this happens, the betch in question is not any less of a betch, she just needs to find her way back to the top. Just like Austin Powers losing his mojo didn’t make him any less Austin Powers, but we were all just relieved when he finally got it back.
Sometimes, there’s a direct cause and effect like a major life event that bums you out and consequently spirals you into a long slump. But even when there’s no definable cause, getting out is not hopeless. The best way to get out of a slump is to insert something new into the equation. Einstein the bro once said that the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So, instead of waking up and going to the same happy hour with your co-workers, ordering the same thing on Seamless, and doing the same workout you do every day, look for opportunities in your near future to plan a new event. It could be as simple as planning a fajita night with some friends or it could be more spontaneous like visiting a friend who lives in a different part of the country. Once you’ve booked that flight to Nashville or buy that carne asada and queso, you’ll start to feel different just because you have something to look forward to.
The key to getting out of a slump is to focus on anything but the thing you feel shitty about. If you’re having an abnormal freak dry spell with bros, or you’re just not excited about the bros you meet, do not put effort into other ways to meet bros. Simply focus on the complete opposite task – like building your wardrobe for Spring. Whatever. If your boss has you feeling like you’ll never grow at your job… besides quitting obvs, you should focus on extracurricular activities not surrounding your job.
Like Keanu Reeves learned in the Matrix, there is no slump. Once you are able to forget you are in the slump, your body and mind will find itself out. The only way out is to forget it ever existed. But no matter what, just remember, you’re still a betch, even if you don’t feel like one.