How To: Handle A Bad Come Down

By Jane Duh

A long long time ago some famous science guy told the world that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Now, unfortunately for him, that famous science guy had never been to a music festival, but now almost 300 years later we all finally know what that Isaac Newton guy was talking about.

He was talking about how after a night of pretty serious partying with every betch’s fav BFF (Molly) and feeling like the world’s most beautiful Queen of the Dance Floor you will most likely find yourself around seven hours later on the downward slope of your high and feeling like the world’s most red-eyed Queen of the Cold-Sweats. That is to say--you’re having a bad come down and it totally fucking sucks.

Bad come downs are the price betches have to pay for their unfettered access to top-quality designer drugs and their extremely active social life. MDMA was basically invented to help betches to be able to pretend to be excited about seeing all the people who are genuinely excited to see them. Plus it encourages dancing, which is an extremely important part of any betch’s lifestyle.

So, with all the important Molly-taking holidays right around the corner (Halloween, New Year’s, Thanksgiving…) here’s our guide to handling your next day depression hangover because, ‘tis the season and all that.




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