How To Pretend You're Branching Out | Betches

How To Pretend You're Branching Out

By Blackout Betch

Betches hate branching out almost as much as we hate doing work. We pretend to do work in school and at our “jobs” so that people fuck off and we can nurse our hangovers in peace.


For this same reason we are mastering how to pretend we’re branching out so people fuck off and stop asking why we hang out with the same 5 people every weekend. The reason is obvious: everyone else sucks and isn’t nearly as hot/funny/enjoys getting as black out as us so why would we be friends with fugly losers?

If you get completely fed up and just can’t take another person telling you branching out is a great way to “expand your horizons” (bitch, the only thing expanding here is your waistline so put down the Shamrock shake), here’s how to pretend you’re already taking their dumb AF advice.




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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