How To Recover From Regrettable Drunk Decisions

By Betchen Wieners

Spending $34.87 at Taco Bell, texting “letsh ahd ut” to your ex-boyfriend and closing down the bar with an interpretational dance to a 90’s classic…what do all these things have in common? They are all regrettable decisions made while intoxicated. Some are pretty harmless, while others can have a big impact on your entire week ahead. Usually these involve some sort of written communication. Things you say or do will most likely be forgotten by the people around you due to their equal level of intoxication. However, what you write doesn’t go away (until you deliberately delete it). Waking up to a trail of unfortunate texts/e-mails/insta comments can cause you to question your whole life and really ponder the ethics of the bartender who apparently over-served you. Your first thought is to push all the feelings aside and continue on as if nothing happened, but sometimes that is not a viable option.

Straight up ignoring the drunk decision is best left to situations involving exes or people you generally don’t like. Texting “what’s up” with some sort of emoji to someone you haven’t spoken to in over a year is something that should just be left alone. If they respond, your two options are to keep ignoring them, hoping they’ll catch on, or come up with some cryptic response: “who is this” or “what”. The lack of punctuation and capitalization is key; this show apathy aka you DGAF.

There are some other situations that, if ignored, will only get worse. First of all, anything done in connection to your job is pretty serious. Catching up on work e-mails with even the slightest buzz can definitely have an effect on your professionalism. Typos, smiley faces and lack of professional language can cause issues for you once you walk into work on Monday. Also, you may feel a certain appreciation for your co-workers, but texting your boss’s boss “I love you and my job <3” at 2am may or may not be the best thing for your career. The best way to handle these situations is to confront them head-on. A face-to-face apology and explanation is the only way to keep what little professionalism you ever had intact.

The last option would be denial and/or blame-shifting. This method is fool-proof when used with the right people. Maybe years of holding in certain emotions (mainly anger) towards a certain person finally erupts into a rage-filled (very misspelled) text. You can explain the next day by saying “Can you believe he sent me that text?! What an asshole.” Your irresponsible text has now become an attack on your from someone else. This is also a very helpful technique when getting out of unreciprocated sexual advances made towards the opposite sex. “Oops…wrong person” or “Sorry my friend had my phone” are definitely the last resort, but it’s way better to send a (false) explanation than to wait for a less-than-enthused response at 2pm the next day.

Just remember, your drunk decision don’t define you… but anything you text can and will be held against you.




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