March 31, 2015
So, you had a little too much fun on a work night. It happens to the best of us. We may have the best intentions and tell everyone we’re having “one drink…two at the most”, and before you know it you’re waking up with a pounding headache and fuzzy visions of tequila shots and an overly friendly Uber driver. The preferred option would be to call in sick; it’s going to be impossible to face your co-workers and endless e-mails after a night of such irresponsible alcohol consumption. However, sometimes that isn’t an option (probably because you’ve used all your sick days under similar circumstances). You just have to get out of bed, use your best make-up tricks to hide the blotchiness and circles under your eyes, wear flats and face the day.
Don’t get me wrong, this is no easy task. Unlike your morning workouts, getting there is not the hardest part. This whole day is going to be terrible. As long as you go into it knowing that, you’ll have a much better perspective. That way, once your early morning drunk remnants start wearing off and your hangover is in full swing, you won’t be so surprised. Despite all the pain and suffering headed your way, there are a few steps you can take to lessen the misery.
Liquids are key. Due to the fact that you are headed to the workplace, jumping back on the wave (aka drinking more) is probably something you want to avoid. If being intoxicated at work is something your employers encourage, then by all means, drink away. For the rest of us, it’s time to hydrate. Green juice is a must. Make sure it’s fresh…not the kind that sits in the grocery store for weeks. All the vegetables and/or fruit will kickstart your digestive system and help you get the alcohol out. A kombucha paired with a generous serving of coconut water is also essential. The caffeine will keep you going and all the healthy shit will make you feel better about the bad decisions you made the night before.
You also want to have a healthy mix of zoning out and staying busy throughout the day. Sitting at a computer screen for 8 hours will literally kill you, so try to occupy yourself with something. If you have nothing to do, now might be a good time to browse online stores for a new swim suit or start your apartment search for this summer. You don’t want to do anything too important, though, because you aren’t going to do anything well. You may be really tempted to get a nap in, especially if you work in a dark cubicle that no one ever seems to notice. This may be tempting, but try to resist. Being able to escape the pain for a brief siesta will not be worth the excruciating reality of waking up from it. You will be disoriented and feel no better than you did before.
One thing that is always helpful during days like these is a luxurious lunch. Take a little extra time and effort to eat well today. So what if people say having a $40 lunch is irresponsible? Today is the day to do it big. The thought of food may be repulsive to your depending on the stage of your hangover, and if that’s the case, buy more green juice and find a place to watch Netflix in peace. This also isn’t a bad time to sneak a Bloody Mary or two.
For the second half of the day, you just want to make it to 5:00 without throwing up all over your desk. The best way to push through is to avoid communicating with those around you. Now is the not the time to listen to your co-worker bitch about how she needs bunion surgery or how her stepdaughter is slut. Actually, you should never listen to this woman. The point is, be selfish today even more so than you are normally. Avoid eye contact, end conversations quickly and leave through the back door.
Once you’ve made it through your day, it’s time to celebrate. Reward yourself with a bottle of wine or meet your friends out for happy hour. If you wake up tomorrow with the same blurry vision and impending hangover as you did today, you know what to do.